The Official Boyband Handbook

[36] The Fate

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I could easily lie to you and say

That I don't like her

But that's exactly how it feels to be hurt

Nothing ever seems to go the right way now

Nothing ever seems fair

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Chapter Thirty Six - The Fate

(Please be wary that this chapter takes place on the Monday of the boys' first back-to-tour rehearsal. It's what happened while Harry and Genevieve were out-and-about in the previous chapter). 

Louis had his back pressed up against a solid wall in one of the many dressing rooms he managed to locate in a fit of despair some time ago. His neck was craned over the phone he held in his hands, fingers nervously flickering over the ‘call’ button. If it were possible to count all the exasperating thoughts running awry in his mind, he would reckon they add up to about a million or so. He was searching for some kind of resolution for all this – for all the mess that his life had become in the past couple of weeks. Things had finally taken a better turn for his career, and now, out of the blue, his personal life was in agony.

He could not blame one person, solely. To do so would be to blame himself because really, he had willingly placed himself in this mess. He hated to admit it (actually, he despised admitting it), but snogging Frankie that day on the football field, then thinking about it later on and doing it again, and then telling her he was still in love with his ex-girlfriend (now girlfriend again?) was not one of his smartest ideas. He was outwardly playing with the both of them, even if one of them was unaware of it.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he groaned, tiredly slamming his head against the wall supporting his back. He allowed the phone in his hands to slip and fall gracelessly to the floor. “What is wrong with me?”

“What is wrong with you?” asked a familiar voice retreating from the depths of the narrow corridor, entering what he thought was an empty dressing room. Clearly, it was taken. “Louis, what are ya doin’ on the floor, mate?”

“I’m trying to come up with ways to kill myself,” he answered with a sigh. “Because that’s about the only way I can get myself out of this mess.”

The other boy laughed. “Reckon that’s a bit much, though. Come on tell Uncle Niall all ‘bout it.”

“Uncle Niall?”

He shrugged.

“Okay, well,” Louis scratched the back of his neck, searching for the right words. “I got back with Eleanor, as you know.”

“Yeah, we all do. But what ‘bout Frankie?”

“That’s sort of the problem I’m having, Ni,” he answered miserably. “I’ve kissed her – more than once –and yet, I don’t know exactly how I feel about her; which is strange considering after the first time I kissed Eleanor, I knew I wanted her more than anything. But with Frankie, it’s so different. Then she went on and told me she loves me; that’s she’s been in love with me for years, and now I’m more fucked up here than anywhere else.” He finished, pointing a limp finger to his head.

Niall raised a brow. “So you’re confused ‘bout how ya feel?”

“Pretty much.”

The younger boy proceeded then to sit down across from his friend, crossing his legs while deep in thought. He was not having difficulty with what he wanted to say, rather, how he should say it. The truth was so undeniably present, that it made him want to kick Louis in the shin for being so stupid. But he was a man in love and stupid doesn’t even come close to describing men in love. “You know you have to pick, yeah? You can’t have them both, and if I know you, Louis, you don’t want them both.”