Dancing Away with My Heart: (Part 2 in Dancing with Artem Chigvintsev trilogy)

18

When the sun came up the next morning I realized that Maks was no longer laying in bed next to me.

I rubbed my eyes and immediately began to worry, flashes of our 3 a.m. conversation hitting me like bullets right in the chest, causing my eyes to rain down over the sheets, I was scared.

Maks asked me to marry him, knowing that it wasn't something that should even be thought about at the present time, things with him have been moving way too quickly and a part of me is hesitant and the other part of me doesn't care.

"I know you can't marry me right now." He had said, "I know this is complicated, but it doesn't mean you can't make me a promise, that someday, when the time comes and you are ready, that you will be my wife."

I didn't know how to respond, I kept thinking about Vladimir and Alek. How would they feel if their mommy suddenly became married to their "Uncle Maks."

"No" I had said to him, "How could you ask me that? I can't make you that promise right now.. It is not because I don't love you, it's just that I can't be anything more to you right now, until I speak to Artem, he's still my husband." I was sobbing.

Maks stood up quickly, looking heart broken. I felt terrible for making him think that I was over my love for Artem, it is all so confusing. He left the room after apologizing over and over and he has not come back since.

Now here I am awake, and feeling alone all over again.

I took a shower and sat out on the balcony breathing in the beautiful air, wondering what Maks was up to, probably out for a stroll having the same thoughts as I was.

Before long he returned.

"Emma?" He called out looking all around for me before realizing the balcony door was open. "There you are." He kissed my head. "I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up, I tried to be quick. I was moving a few things around and getting a surprise in store for you for tomorrow."

"A surprise?" I laughed "oh no, please tell me you didn't buy a ring." I was joking with him but then I looked down at my left hand a realized I had never taken off my current wedding ring. This whole situation was too fresh, I hadn't even thought to do so. Did I really want my marriage to end. Artem and I have now both been unfaithful but I still have feelings for him. I lifted my head and my eyes to meet Maks' as he looked down.

"Maks." I said

"No, I deserved that, I never should have asked such a thing of you. It's unfair to you that I came back into your life at such a vulnerable time."

We sat on the balcony staring out into the city for what felt like hours but had only been about 20 minutes.

"Maks, can I ask you something?" It was something I was dying to know. Something that had kept me emotionally connected to Maks.

"Anything." He said looking into my eyes.

"I was wondering, on my 25th birthday, the night Artem proposed, you told me you had planned to ask me to marry you.."

"Yeah." He nodded as he thought back on that memory.

"Why did you tell me that that night?"

After a moment of silence he looked over at me.

"I was pissed, I was very angry I threw you that party and he was getting all the praise, and a part of me was hoping you would say no to him, I guess. You could have."

"But I didn't." I said "and there was a reason. How could I allow all of this to happen, I should be fixing things with Artem, not cheating on him, he must feel so hurt."

"He cheated on you." He looked at the ground again, anger apparent in his eyes.

"Artem was my first love, I met him when I was 14 years old, he was there for me in more ways than I can ever thank him for." I said crying "I know he didn't mean to do what he did, I just needed to escape from all my responsibilities. Being with you has been a way to do that, but I can never marry you, Maks. You are my bestfriend, this was all a mistake and never should have been taken this far."

"Emma?" He said taking a step back, he was hurt.

"No, stop." I said "please, I need to go home to my family and fix things before it's too late."