My tear-stained eyes found the blurry reflection of myself. I rubbed the lenses of my glasses with the sleeve of my gray sweater. My hair was a wreck and my mascara made me look like the rear end of a racoon. The girls bathroom was desolate. The only living thing in their was an fat, ugly, stupid girl who just embarassed herself in front of the entire student body. I replayed the lies people had told me over the past month when I first moved here. things like;
"you're a nobody! And u never will be!" or my favorite one:
"you're ugly!" the chimes of voices rang in my head like church bells signaling that my life was ending. How could I be created if I was going to get teased for who I am, or want to be? As a child I used to love myself. Others loved me, I was praised by everyone. Now I really am a nobody. I don't want to take this kind of abuse anymore! No one should have to live through this kind of suffering! Tears were streaming down my face now, I dug around in my bag for a tissue but my hand closed around something else. Fear and adrenline flooded through my body. Migraine pills. This was my way out! My only hope to a never ending life of pain. And all I had to do was swallow a tube of small white ovals. I never knew death could come in such small packages. I looked up from the orange capsule and saw my red blotchy face. I knew I had to do it.
Turning into the handicapped stall I clutched the capsule to my chest. I had butterflies in my stomach and my breath was beginning to escape my lungs in short gasps as I sat down on the toilet seat.
Was I really about to do this? Was I really going to throw my life away? Yes. I had to. There was nobody left here for me. Maybe in heaven I'll see my mom and my gramma.
I stared hard at the orange tube. My hand slowly closed around the air tight lid. I pushed down and twisted, the cap came off with a pop. With rivers of tears flowing down my face I slowly inched the tube towards my mouth. I felt the plastic scrape against my thin lips. my life flashed before my eyes as I tilted the capsule all the way backwards and tumbled to the cold tiled floor. The plastic tube bounced to the ground and the last thing I heard before mytime on earth ended was a faint scream of a student who saw the capsule and knew what I had just committed.
