phan one-shots

secrets, secrets are no fun

"No reason," he said and walked down the hallway to our bedroom. We got together after he turned 18 and lived together ever since because of flat cost and him dropping out of university. And here I was thinking he moved on from keeping secrets from me. Yeah, I know it's childish but I can't help it. It's just how I think.

I heard the bedroom door shut and jumped, not expecting the force. I knew what I wanted to do but I was scared. I haven't done it in years. Dan helped me get over it, but now he's not here and I'm alone again.

I stood off the couch and walked down the hallway to the bathroom. They were in the very back of the medicine cabinet where Dan wouldn't notice. I moved some things around and pulled out a small box. I opened it slowly to reveal several clean and sharpened blades. I just looked at them for a minute before reaching in and pulling out my favorite one, the one I always used. I took a minute to stare at my scarred wrist and realized it wouldn't be awful of there were some more, no one would even notice.

Before I knew it, my sleeve was completely up my arm and the blade was already dragging across my wrist. It happened several more times before my wrist was almost completely covered in beads of blood.  It hurt more than I remember, but I liked it.

Suddenly I realized what I was doing and who I was turning into and I dropped the blade and frantically washed my wrist. I knew there would still be scars but I didn't want to see anymore blood. I started crying as it hurt and I was angry at myself. Eventually the blood stopped and I picked up the blade, threw it back in the box and hid the box for good. I pulled down my sleeve and walked into my own room because Dan was in his which is the one we usually share. I didn't want to face him.

As I was in the middle on putting on my p.j.s, I heard a knock and a quiet whisper of my name.

"What do you want Dan?" I asked with a sigh. He's always like this when he's drunk. He always wants to cuddle.

He opened the door a little and saw my standing there shirtless. I, of course, hid my arm. "I heard you crying. I want to know what's wrong and why you didn't come to bed."

"Nothing's wrong Dan," I said with a fake smile. "I was just changing. I'll be right back in bed. Go to sleep."

I have no idea how, but I guess I moved my arm a little and he saw my wrist and gasped loudly. "Philly, what have you done?" He said with tears in his eyes. He opened the door the rest of the way and walked in. He reached for my arm but u pulled it back. He looked so shocked and confused and worried. It hurt my heart.

"It's nothing, dan. I just fell on some glass and it scratched my arm a bit."

"Don't give me that bullshit. I know you don't like when I lie to you so why would you lie to me? I thought you loved me."

"I lied to you? Right well I'm pretty sure you lied first considering you walked in drunk as hell and told me you're weren't."

"Maybe that's because I wasn't drunk. I was with P.J. and Chris and I was tired. That's why I was stumbling everywhere. Then I laughed because I thought of something p.j. said and I thought it was funny. I didn't think you'd get it because you weren't there so I didn't tell you. Wait, did you do this because you thought I was lying?" He asked referring to my cuts.

I lowered my head afraid of him laughing at me and calling me a baby and shook my head yes. I already felt tears coming.

He grabbed me suddenly and hugged me tightly. His hugs always made me feel better. "I love you Phil." He pulled away and gently held my wrist. You're better than this, I know it. We worked so hard to get here, so don't go back now."

I hugged him again. "I love you"

"I love you too"

Dan 24; Phil 28

Dans p.o.v.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!" his words shook me to the bone. I had never heard him yell like this before. It was terrifying.

"Phil please let me expl-" my words were on deaf ears as he started screaming again.

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR FUCKING LIES YOU WORTHLESS WHORE NOW GET OUT OF MY HOUSE BEFORE I FUCKING THROW YOU OUT."

Tears started streaming down my face as I heard him call me those names. He never did that.

"ARE YOU FUCKING DEAF? GET OUT! YOU FUCKING FAGGOT, GET OUT!" His hand came back and swung, slapping me right across my face.

I didn't know where I was going but I ran. I ran straight out of the house and down the steps and out into the cold winter air, without any shoes on. I decided I couldn't go anywhere without proper clothes so I walked back in and stayed right next to the door in case he came down. At least I was warm.

Not minutes later I heard the stairs creak and I didn't waste a minute as I dashed out of the house. "Dan!" His voice still scared me so I didn't stop running. I heard foot steps behind me but I didn't stop. He was faster then me and eventually caught up. Grabbed me by the arm and I cried out, struggling to get free.

"Let me go! Please Phil don't hurt me! Please let me go!" Tears were rushing down my face and I probably looked mad.

"Dan stop!" His voice was strong and scared the shit out of me. I stopped moving but I looked away from him and tried to regain my normal breathing.

"I'm not going to hurt you." With that he picked me up and carried me back to the flat. He laid me down on the sofa and stood. I refused to look at him.

"Im sorry for what I did," he said after a minute. "I thought you were cheating on me."

"That's no excuse for what you did to me."

"I know but I was so mad. I wasn't thinking about anything. All I saw was white hot anger. To think that after all these years years were cheating on me, and with a friend of ours made me furious."

"So I guess you know what we were talking about, considering you aren't mad anymore."

He shook his head shamefully. "I'm so sorry Dan." I didn't say anything as I continued to stare straight ahead. He walked over and sat right in front of me. He hesitantly reached his hand out and I flinched, he pulled back but then reached out again. This time I let him cup my cheek and he rubbed softly over where he had hit me. "Those things I said and did were horrible. You didn't deserve any of that."

"No I didn't."

"I know. I'm disgusted with myself. I can't describe how sorry I am and I'll never be able to deserve your forgiveness."

"How about you say yes and I'll forgive you."

"You still want to marry me? After all that?"

"You know I would never lie to you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you. Just don't do that again and we'll be good."

He smiled and I hugged him. "I love you too, and yes."

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Yeah so Phil basically gets upset when people lie to him so they went through a bunch of times where he was upset because he thought Dan was lying.