Chim - Heart On My Sleeve

Chapter 4

“That one had the catchiest headline!” she spat. I picked it up and looked at the front. It was the same picture with the headline “Coles reunite: Chezza proves Kimberley was a phase”. I cringed as my eyes scanned the article, quotes such as “She was never gay” and “She used Kimberley to make him jealous, that's done now and they're back to normal” jumping out at me. I closed my eyes as I tried to stop the tears from falling. I had no right to cry. I had done exactly what he had done. I'd done what I divorced him for,

“You make me sick” She whispered. I heard the rustling of the paper as she picked it up and looked at it again,

“Don't look at it Kimba” I tried, causing her to laugh again,

“Don't look at it? Cheryl, the only thing stopping me from seeing exactly what you were doing is the bloody censor! How could you?”

“I...”

“Not only have you cheated on me...Doing THAT in public? Why Cheryl?”

“I didn't know there was anyone around. I'm sorry”

“That doesn't explain why you're sat on him with your trousers around your ankles Cheryl”

“I don't have an excuse...I just...I...”

“What? You what Cheryl?”

“I never stopped loving him...you know that!”

“That doesn't mean you get to embarrass me like this Cheryl! You know how humiliating this is! How do you think I feel right now?”

“I know...I'm sorry”

“Sorry doesn't cut it. I can't even stand the sight of you!”

“I don't blame you for being angry but Kimba...you have to understand. Us being together...it's ruining my career! The public like me and Ash...” I knew I'd said the wrong thing. I saw the fury. It was written all over her face,

“You're telling me that I had to see a picture of you *Ducking* your ex husband because you are more bothered about your ratings?”

“I didn't know that would happen”

“When were you planning on telling me that you were back with him hmm? How long HAVE you been with him?” I cringed as I heard the questions. I knew I'd have to be honest,

“I was waiting for the right time” I mumbled, hoping to get away without telling her just how long I'd been cheating on her,

“How long?” She asked outright. Closing my eyes, I prepared myself for the enslaught,

“A while” I stuttered,

“How long?”

“5 months” I whispered. 5 months ago, the press had started reporting sightings of me and Ashley. I had convinced her that it wasn't true, that I wasn't interested in seeing him. I had been there though. We'd been sleeping together behind her back. I opened my eyes a little as I heard her leave the room...I didn't move though. I sat and listened as she sobbed. I listened as she was physically sick. I listened as she packed her things and I listened as she ran out and slammed the door for the final time.

“You can't erase it Cheryl. No matter how much you try...”

“I know. I know I can't. It's the biggest mistake of my life”

“You broke my heart. I thought it was safe with you. I thought we would always be together. And if we weren't, I thought we'd at least end amicably. I still see that image every time I close my eyes!”

“I don't know how to make it better” I admitted sadly. She shook her head,

“You can't. I love you with everything I am. But even if I forgave you, I'd never forget”

“Can't we at least try? It's been 18 months Kimba. I've grown up. I turned into someone I didn't know back then. Everything was about being in the papers...being noticed and staying at the top. It's not like that now. I stay away from it all. I know now that being at the top ruined me as a person. I live in my little flat, I don't get seen or heard. The occasional pap will try to get me to speak but I'm not interested. All I want to do is fix us. I fixed me. Now I want to fix us” She looked at me, pain obvious in her eyes. I was making some form of progress here, no matter how little. She hadn't left which was a step in the right direction,

“I wish it was that easy” she muttered,

“I know it won't be easy. I know I have a hell of a long way to go before you even consider trusting me again. I just want to try” She sighed heavily,

“For the sake of Sarah, I will be civilised with you. We can do nights out and other stuff with the girls. That's all I can offer right now”

“That's fine” I smiled and nodded eagerly. Definitely a step in the right direction. She gave me half a smile before turning around and leaving the toilets. I smiled to myself as she left. It would take time but I'd get my Kimba back in the end. I had a feeling. With this in mind, I followed her out and over to the girls. We were just in time as Sarah made her way over to us, her face hidden by huge sunglasses and a cap covering her head. We instantly held our arms out, welcoming her into a safe embrace. She held us tighter than ever as we all whispered soothing words into her ears. As she pulled away, I caught a glimpse of her eyes under the glasses. I tried not to react as I saw the heavy bruising and swelling, instead, linking her arm in mine and leading her out of the airport,

“C'mon, why don't we all go back to mine for a brew?” I suggested. Sarah nodded and walked with me whilst Kimberley and Nicola followed behind