Don't Hurt Me - Leo and Raph Fanfic

Fallen Who Knows Where - Leo's POV

          "AHHHHHHH!!!!" Raph's shrivelled cries are heard everywhere! He's strapped down to the table and I help hold him down with Mikey and Master Splinter as Donnie removes the pieces of plastron. I hold his upper body down while they control his legs. Only Raph flails everywhere as screams tear from his throat and his eyes are more wide than I could've imagined they grew.
          "AHHHHH!!! AHHHHH!!!" Raph's body twists and turns trying to free itself, like Raph has no control and his entire body has just taken over.
          "AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" From here I can tell the tears are hot and must sting his eyes, sweat trickles down his forehead and covers him in a thick coating blanket. His eyes are dull and fragile, such beautiful eyes, but so heavy and hurt.
          "AHHHH!!! AHHH!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!" He heaves in uneven breaths at an uncontrollable pace. His veins bulge out as he strains and whimpers and screams and cries.
          "AH STOP! PLEASE STOP!!!" Raphael pleads and it breaks me to see him like this. Donnie looks like he's breaking, and Mikey has already turned away.
          "Michelangelo!" Master Splinter yells, "Do you want your brother to live?!?" Mikey snaps around so fast I swear it would break anyone else's neck.
          "Yes! What kind of question is that of course I want Raph to live! How could you even ask that?!?" Mikey looks hurt and upset.
          "Then this is the only way..." Sensei explains and Mikey resumes his former job.
          "Don't worry Mike... I'll be fine..." Raph struggles in a hushed tone as Donnie digs in again and no one can get out another word before our ears are pierced by our loved one's cry.
          "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Long, agonized, echoing in our minds... I almost can't take it anymore until Donnie says it's the last one and I sigh in relief. There's blood everywhere, Donnie's covered in it and he shakes as he looks at the red liquid on his hands. Hurriedly he rushes away to clean it off and Master Splinter holds Mikey, talking to him softly and apologizing or comforting him somehow. Me though, I'm at Raph's head, staring at his face.
          His eyes are squeezed shut together so hard that I swear they could break! A glance at his features and you know he's in pain, and Raph is a master at hiding pain. If this was any of us, we would probably be dead right now, or worse. I don't know how he takes it. Everything he's been through and yet he's come to forgive me, he wasn't even mad at me in the first place and Raph is almost always mad at something! He wouldn't even be in this situation if it wasn't for me losing it! God what was I thinking?!? I can't even remember what it was that was going through my mind! All I remember was that I was furious, livid, and I set out in search for something, I didn't know but my feet seemed to carry me exactly where I wanted to go. Raph. And I didn't want to hurt him, but I was mad at myself and I lunged at him. He didn't fight back, I wanted him to hurt me! I wanted him to get mad! But he didn't... He just took the beating until I had literally kicked the shit out of him. That made me even angrier, I was so clouded by my thoughts, I didn't even realize what I was doing as I brought him to his knees and drove my Katana blade through him. It was all one motion. One slide of blankness. I can remember his eyes. That's it. As he realized what I was going to do to him. I remember the fear, the pain and hurt I saw emotionally more than physical. The hurt of me doing this to him. I Remember that. The sound of his voice as he begged me to stop. Although it wasn't registering. Nothing registered until after. I remember the smirk on my lips as I drove the cold blade straight through him, and the terrorized expression Raph had after. I remember.
          I'm so caught up in the past, I'm startled by my brothers voice, "Leo?" I just then realize that I had been crying. Silently tears fell from my eyes to drop on Raph closed ones. I quickly sniff and wipe my face clear of any tear.
          "I'm afraid..." I realize Raph is shivering and his heart rate is going berserk and he's this unnatural silver colour.
          "Raph! RAPH!" His eyes close and his body breaks out in spasms as the whites of his eyes show. Master Splinter rushes to his side and Donnie sprints back in the room. They do things I'm not paying attention to, only to him. Only to his face. The shock it hits me so hard. Everything is distant. All except Raph. I just stare at him, until my vision is all black and I have fallen... Fallen who knows where.