Your Name Is Gamzee Makara

Reader: Be Gamzee Makara

Hey, what's your name? Well, you can forget it, because your name is now Gamzee Makara. You love FAYGO, SOPOR SLIME, and TAVROS NITRAM. You are currently suffering from a severe case of SEXUAL TENSION with the aforementioned Tavros, and need some serious RELATIONSHIP ADVICE. Speaking of, let's see who to ask. Ah, what about your MOIRAIL, KARKAT VANTAS. He's your total bro, you can ask him anything. Especially on a subject you have been researching for over an hour now. You open Trollian and begin to troll Karkat.

______________________________

terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

TC: kArBrO

CG: WHAT GAMZEE?

TC: I aLl Up AnD nEeD hElP iN tHe MiRaClEs DePaRtMeNt

CG: QUADRANT TROUBLE?

TC: YeAh

TC: TaVbRo

CG: I HONESTLY DONT HANG AROUND HIM THAT MUCH.

TC: Oh

TC: WeLl

TC: HoNk

TC: ByE

CG: BYE GAMZEE.

terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

______________________________

You sigh and click the next name in your chump roll. Seriously, you have procrastinated the entire day, you should be getting some productive results out of trolling your friends.

You go to the troll with the most common sense. Kanaya will know what to do.

______________________________

terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling grimAuxilliatrix [GA]

TC: kAnSiS

TC: hOnK

GA: Hello Gamzee

TC: I nEeD hElP

GA: With What Do You Require Assistance

TC: wItH tAvBrO

GA: You Wish To Explore The Most Flushed Of Quadrants With Tavros

TC: wElL, aLl Up AnD yEaH.

GA: I Think That You Should Discuss This With Him

TC: i GuEsS

GA: Goodbye Gamzee

terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased trolling grimAuxilliatrix [GA]

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You run a hand frustratedly through your messy black hair. Relationship advice is a pain, especially when you're too stoned to understand half of it.

You go to the third person on your list. Nepeta. She's an expert at shipping and hypothetical relationships, she might be able to help you.

______________________________

terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]

TC: nEpSiS!

AC: :33< *ac says gamz33 sounds furstrated*

TC: i NeEd HeLp

AC: :33< *ac asks with what?*

TC: I nEeD tO TaLk To TaVbRo

AC: :33< *ac asks about what slyly as she curls her lips in a smile, thinking she knows purrfectly well what gamz33 is talking about*

TC: I wAnT hIm To Be My MaTeSpRiT

AC: :33< *ac squeals, stalking felinely to her shipping wall and preparing her supplies to add another ship*

TC: hE iSnT yEt ThOuGh

AC: :33< *ac furrowns, wondering what she could do to help karkitty's meowrail*

AC: :33< you can always invite him ofur and confess your pawsome f33lines fur him!

TC: I mIgHt TrY tHaT nEpSiS

TC: i MiGhT

TC: :o)

AC: :33< *ac curls up next to gamz33, being happy to have helped him in his furocious endeavours to gain a matesprit*

TC: aWw, ThAnKs NePsIs

AC: :33< *ac says you are furry welcome*

TC: *tC aLl Up AnD sCrAtChEs Ac BeHiNd ThE eArS*

AC: :33< purrrrrrrrrrrrrrr :3

TC: Im GoInG tO tAlK tO tAvBrO nOw

AC: :33< good luck gamz33!

terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]

______________________________

You close Trollian, pulling at your hair frantically and grabbing the bottle of Faygo sitting next to you on the floor. This is getting so frustrating. So far your only instructions have been talk to him and invite him over, then talk to him.

You want him to be your Matesprit so badly. Tavbro is so adorable and sweet and shy. You want to hurt Vriska for paralysing him. You want to hurt her so bad...

Woah. Where are those thoughts coming from, you wonder. You slurp back a slime pie to calm your mood, and the world explodes in colour again. Miracles.

You wash the pie down with some Faygo and open up Trollian again before you lose your nerve.

______________________________

terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling adiosToreador [AT]

TC: hEy TaVbRo

AT: hEY GAMZEE,,,

TC: WhAtS uP iN mIrAcLe WoRlD?

AT: hAHA, iM NOT A MIRACLE, NICE TRY }:)

TC: nAw TaVbRo, YoUrE aLl Up AnD fUlL oF mOtHeRfucKiN mIrAcLeS

AT: oH STOP IT GAMZEE,,,

TC: hEy TaVbRo, YoU wAnNa CoMe OvEr?

AT: sURE,,, sICK RHYMES ARE WAITING,,,

TC: hEh, MoThErFuCkInG cOoL

TC: hOnK :o)

AT: hAHA, yOU ALWAYS KNOW HOW TO MAKE ME LAUGH,,, wE SURE ARE GREAT FRIENDS

TC: yOu GoT iT tAvBrO

______________________________

You sigh. Friendzoned. Ouch. You know you can't stop pitying him. That would be a crime.

______________________________

AT: iM COMING OVER NOW, GAMZEE }:)

TC: MoThErFuCkiNg SwEeT, tAv

terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased trolling adiosToreador [AT]

______________________________

Running frantically to the mirror to check your appearance, you trip over a hornpile.

"Ouch!" That sure looks like it hurt. You flip off the mysterious deity in the sky that dictates your actions and continue your dash to the mirror.

Your clown makeup is smudged from lying on the floor thinking about Tavros half the day, and there is is small scratch on your cheek, indicating your earlier trip in the pile. So basically, a giant purple, grey and white mess.

You shake your head. It will have to do. Tavros will be showing up right around... now. That would be the door. You are so grateful that Vriska left those rocket sneakers at Tavros' house when they were still kismesises.

You lope slowly to the door, regular dopey grin already in place. You crack your knuckles, getting ready to push him up the stairs.

When you open the door, Tavros isn't there. Oh sure, he LOOKS like Tavros, same face, same horns, same clothes. But he's WALKING. The non-Tavros seems to notice your shock, as he laughs.

"Gamzee, Equius fixed me some robolegs! Aren't they cool?" he says enthusiastically. You find it so adorable how he can get worked up over the smallest of miracles. But this is a big miracle. He's walking again. You grin down at him. He's still shorter than you, if only by a few inches.

Tavros bounces up and down, delighting in the use of his new legs. "So, what're we gonna do? Throw down some sick fires? Because I've thought of some new ones, mainly about me walking, and slamming down Vriska, and-"

You hug him tightly, knocking the breath out of your prospective matesprit. Now you can hug him without being so awkward. "I'm glad you can all up and walk again, Tavbro."

Tavros returns the hug, albeit slightly nervously. "Uh, Gamzee, I can't breath," he gasps. You let him go quickly, not wanting to strangle him.

"Sick fires and sloppy makeouts, let's go," you mutter.

"What was that?" asks Tavros, looking back at you. You don't have to carry him up the stairs anymore, goodbye to close contact.

You sigh wistfully. "Nothing, Tav." Even though walking with him in front of you on the stairs like this DOES give you a nice view of his ass...

You and Tavros reach the top of the stairs, you anticipating the outbreak of feelings and Tavros probably anticipating the sick fires that the two of you are about to burn. Not that you would know what Tavros is thinking. You're not a mind reader. You can, however, be him. Should you? No, you say, I won't invade his privacy.

But I insist.

______________________________

Gamzee: Be Tavros Nitram

You are now Tavros Nitram. You love your new ROBOTIC LEGS, SICK FIRES and GAMZEE MAKARA. Your clown bro is simply the best there is. So sick. Lately it seems like there has been the totally strained expression of SEXUAL TENSION one his face, which is ridiculous because that's gross and you two are just bros.

Currently, he is walking behind you and seems to be enjoying the view of your ass, which also happens to be completely made out of metal. You wait for him to make an insensitive comment, like "wow Tav, you've got buns of steel!" It doesn't come. Of course not, idiot, what did you expect? Other than the fact that he is high in the sky 99 percent of the time, Gamzee is cool and totally tactful. Also, when you are staring at someone's behind, you don't TELL them that you are staring at their behind. It makes you look like an idiot.

Alright, so you may or may not have developed a small flushed crush on Gamzee. But it would never work. You two are just bros. Just. Bros. Damnit.

"Tavbro?" Gamzee is holding the door to his bedroom open, like a true gentletroll. He is just being friendly. Just. Being. Friendly. Damnit.

You grin at him and walk in through the door. You notice that Gamzee is looking less than up to par today. His face makeup is smudged and and there is a long scratch on his cheek, encrusted in purple blood. Still. Higher. On the. Hemospectrum.

"Fuck," you say aloud.

Even though you know that the mysterious deity in your head wants you to jump on Gamzee and make out with him, you know you must refuse, even though it is quite difficult. And you know that this story needs more plot development. Wait, where is this BS coming from? Gamzee is looking at you strangely. It seems that while you were carrying out this intense, intelligent conversation in your mind, in real life you have just murmured "fuck" and proceeded to blankly stare off into space.

"You say something, Tav?" he asks in his rough voice. You almost squeal fangirlishly, but stop yourself at the last second.

"Nothing, Gamzee," you squeak. He shrugs it off with an easy smile. That smile makes you weak at the the knee- oh, wait. Weak at the elbows then, I guess. Whatever. And Gamzee is so quick to smile.

"Let's throw some sick fires, then!" he announces. You grin. Gamzee always knows how to make you feel better.

The rap-off begins. Gamzee's tend to be about clowns, Faygo and horns, but you don't really mind. He's your bro like that. Also, you find it cute. Your raps are about being cool and confident, like you think Rufioh would be. And Rufioh is the DEFINITION of freakin' cool.

After a few hours, your voice is hoarse, and Gamzee's is hoarser.

"That was fuckin' cool, Tav," he says, leaning back and cracking open another bottle of Faygo. You grin.

"Yeah. Those fires were the sickest!" you say. You can't help but feel a bit disappointed. You were hoping that he was going to make an admission of feelings, but you guess that was too much to hope for.

Suddenly something seems to become clear to your clown friend, and his face flushes so hard that you can see the purple through his clown makeup. Flushes? You feel your own rust colored blood heat your face. Gamzee seems to use this for his own purposes, as he wraps an arm around your shoulders and puts his arm around your shoulders and brings his face close to yours. In a friendly way, of course. Friendly. Damnit.

"You're blushing, Tavbro," he says in a low voice. This causes your face to go an even darker colour. He grins, sharp teeth showing. You cough slightly and laugh nervously, pulling at the collar of your Taurus t-shirt. Taurus, you ask, what's that? Welp, m'not tellin' you. You further ignore the obnoxiously loud voice in your head and turn back to the matter at hand.

Gamzee's face is very, VERY close. You almost can't help yourself. You are sweating heavier than Equius on a hot day. Correction, you really CAN'T help yourself. You lean in closer and brush the Capricorn's lips with your own. A rushing feeling fills your head, and it's so strong that you can't even muster the ability to ask what the heck a Capricorn even is.

You pull away from your best bro. There is a dopey grin on his painted face, one you are sure mirrors your own expression.

This is when Gamzee decides to act. He rushes forward and captures your lips in an absolutely mind-blowing snog. Mind. Blowing. Snog. You feel something brush your lower lip. You open your mouth in response to his tongue, wrestling back with your own. Repeat: Mind. Blowing. Freakin'. Snog.

Once the two of you have to part for air, you feel like saying something dumb. Something like "ZOMG" or "ASDFGHJKL". You feel like Nepeta when another one of her ships has gone canon. Like Vriska when she gets to kick Eridan's ass during RP. Like freaking ERIDAN when he gets a new scarf.

You and Gamzee stare into each others' eyes, flushed and panting. Because seriously. Once again, it was a Mind. Blowing. Snog. Gamzee spins around to sit next to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders again.

His voice tickles as he mutters in your ear. "Well, matesprit-bro, I think that this day has been righteously miraculous up in its own motherfuckin self."

You feel a ginormous grin split your face. You whisper back, your lips brushing his ear.

"Yeah, I think so." Gamzee makes strangled whimpering noise and you laugh.

The two of you won't have to tell anyone just yet. You can keep it secret for a few hours. It'll be your secret, even though everyone is bound to find out in a few hours. But you can keep it. It's fine. You're cool with it...