Fix A Heart

Chapter 34

"Just stop fucking over thinking things! You try and push every single person that cares about you out of your life and that's what your trying to do with me! You know that I'm sorry. You know that."

His voice became quieter at the end of the sentence, but his voice was deep with anger and sadness as he yelled at me.

"You don't know anything so go, go back to doing whatever you were doing before me okay? You seemed pretty content with that life! You said yourself you can't hold onto a girl!" I scream at him, making him raise his hands to run them through his dark curls in frustration.

"I don't want that life back! I hated it! I hated all those girls and you are right, I couldn't hold onto a girl before you and that's why I'm trying! I don't want to let you go and I know you still feel something for me, Sadie even sees it. The boys see it. So why the hell can't you?!" He questions me.

I do see it. I even see it now. I still see it and feel it after what he did and it sucks.

"Because! Just go Harry it's not worth it anymore!" I yell at him.

"I leave in five days Blair." He says sharply, his arm extending out to touch me once again before I extend my own backwards; making him unable to contact me.

"Leaving where?"

His hand drops to his side in defeat, "For tour, I told you about it once." He says, his breathing deep.

"You said it wasn't until-"

"The dates changed."

We sit in silence staring at eachother; the heat of our tempers swirling in the air around us. My body is racking with emotions. I want to hit him, punch and kick him, I want to kiss the frown away between his eyebrows and run my hands through his hair to make his fists unclench.

"Well, I hope you have a good time doing that." I say, hoping it didn't come out too rudely.

"Blair I hate this feeling of you hating me. It feels like before." He tells me.

"Well it is like before Harry. We are right where we started and it will all just go in circles like this over and over again if we keep this going. So just drop it." I say, almost pleadingly.

I hate having to see him in this state of sadness because its making me want to cave but I can't.

"Stop it dammit! Stop trying to push this away!" He yells, taking another large step towards me, our bodies inches apart.

I stare into his eyes for a few long seconds before I gain the courage to do what's coming next.

"Go."

My eyes scan over his face to remember every single inch of it just in case I never see it again. I hate this boy, but I can't stand the thought of being without him.

I take a sharp breath in as his large hands cup my face, making me look straight at him; his lips centimeters away from mine. I have to stop him. This is what always gets the best of me.

I lift my own hands to pry his hands off of my face roughly, shoving my hands at his chest to make him step away from me.

"Just go Harry!! I'm done!!" I yell, shoving him back once more as he try's to reach out to me.

"Love plea-"

"Don't call me that! Just leave!" I yell again, a sob escaping straight after.

"I don't want to see you." I cry, backing away from him.

He stares at me at the steps of the porch which I had pushed him to, and I watch as his eyes trail over every single inch of me, not in a perverted way, but as if a remembrance as I had just done moments ago.

And then, I watch as his lips purse into a straight line before he turns around, my eyes trailing after him as he walks all the way down the driveway, his hands fisting at his curls as he reaches the edge of the driveway, his arms resting on the hood if his car as he leans down.

I don't know how many tears are falling at once, but it's constant. I don't know if Harry is aware that I'm still watching, but he stays there for a good minute. My cheeks are drenched, and I squeeze my eyes closed and let a sob escape as I see him hit the hood of his car with his fist, an aggravated yell following.

I slump against the wall and continue to cry my eyes out as I hear the slam of his door, and his engine roar to life before the squeal of his tires sound; symboling he had taken off.

*****

I had somehow managed to drag myself inside the house, slumping back down onto the couch as my eyes still release my stubborn tears.

I fumble for my phone that sits on the coffee table, blinking my eyes to see clearly as I unlock my phone.

I hold my shaking hand to my ear as I sniffle my nose, praying to god that she picks up because honestly, I crave to hear her soothing voice and reassurance at this moment.

Right when the ringing stops I don't give her a moment to speak,

"Mom?" I sob into the phone.

________

Authors note:

I know it's not a long chapter but a lot happened! So comment what you think and VOTE!:)