Evanescence Lyrics and Why They Wrote Them!

MEANING- My Immortal

Perhaps some people read a death theme into the lyrics because of the loss of Amy's sister, and mistakenly believing that Amy wrote it. However, feeling the presence of a loved one after death usually brings comfort, not a wish that they'd go away and leave you alone. Nor would death be a reason to resent having been alone "all along." Death generally results in temporary anger over them having left AFTER they die.

Regardless as to what the original intent of an author is, quite often they will later read something they've written and realize that their subconscious has added multiple levels of meaning to their work. Most artists are aware of the possibilities, no, probabilities of this occurring.

To me, this song could be about a lover, a friend, a parent, a child, a grandparent...or any other person that is loved but takes or even destroys in return. This story is kind of told in reverse, beginning with her/his feelings and then giving us clues as to "why."

Most importantly, it seems to be more about losing one's own sense of identity and self-worth due to the loss and/or betrayal of a loved one than about the actual loss of the loved one--in fact, the desire is that the loved one just go away (taking all the painful love and memories with them.)

"I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears"

She (or he) is emotionally drained and paralyzed by fear--by the end of the lyrics, I'd probably define the fears in terms of the psychological state known as "learned helplessness"

"And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone"

She is constantly tormented by memories he left behind.

"These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase"

He hurt or betrayed her in a way that she can never forget or recover from the emotional damage.

"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me"

Out of love, she sacrificed her life to his well-being and in return, he took her life with him (emotionally/metaphorically) when he left.

"You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind"

She has and always will be imprisoned by him: First it was willingly out of love (captivated by his light); but now she is entrapped by despair (bound by loss and lies)

"Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams"

A face she loved (trusted) has incomprehensibley become the face of her tormentor. A dream morphing into a nightmare.

"Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me"

His words before leaving callously revealed the truth; his deceptions, her delusions, and destroyed her sense of reality.

"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along"

She is struggling with the reality that she was all alone in her love when he was with her...and ironically, now that he's left her, she isn't alone: He torments her with the memories of his betrayal (perhaps complicated by her genuine love for who she thought he was.)


~*~*~*~*~

Later I found this!


Ben Moody (a co-founder of Evanescence, along with Amy Lee, but Ben left the Band at October, 2003) wrote the lyrics and the piano for this song. It was one of Evanescence's first songs, and was supposed to be on their first EP, but they decided to remove it as a last minute change).

The lyrics are totally fictional and are based on a movie Moody saw. There are no connections to God, and Amy Lee did not participate in writing it, originally at least.

The original version had some different lyrics:
After "Suppressed by all my childish fears" came two more lines -
"I would give every breath from my chest
To give you all the things that my mind could bear"
And, instead of "I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone but though you're still with me, I've been alone all along" it was -
"I love to walk away
By myself out of the rain
But I can't leave without you
I love to live without the constant fear and endless doubt
But I can't live without you"

Amy Lee can probably relate to most of the lyrics as her 3-years-younger sister Bonnie tragically died when she was younger.


There could be many meanings to this song. Some say Moody wrote it for his grandfather, others say its about a loved one dying and coming back as a ghost haunting them.