Self-destruction

Silhouettes

They say that crows are death omens. Or so I've heard.

Every day now, after my best friend died, I've been having these dreams.

Dreams of suicide.

Not just normal things like falling or etc, but in the dream I live in black and white. Everything I touch has my bloody handprint on it. And there are crows everywhere... And I feel like I have to die, like nothing else can save me.

The crows don't fly away when I go near them, but when I go near them I hear static.

I'm always in a different area in these dreams. Never the same place. But there are crows everywhere... Watching me...

I'm always driven towards sharp knifes and anything I can kill myself with...

I'm slowly fading away. I'm losing my mind.

It's like every sharp thing I touch pleases the crows because when I pick them up one near it flies to me and disappears ... In front of me.

After I'm satisfied, I go to my apartment, and I either shoot myself, or cut my arms and stomach vertically. There are so many ways I've died in my dreams, I just can't seem to remember.

But after I've been having these dreams, I've seen hundreds of crows.. And I can go up to them and even pick them up...

Some I can hear static.

Some just make me feel miserable.

But they just sit there, all of them, and watch me as I walk by, all at once.

Like black silhouettes of death...Who make me feel like a ticking time bomb.

My best friend died on the 21st, making it an important day... Because I see her constantly in my dreams and in real life as a spirit. Every 21st.

The worst part is all of this is spinning out of control... I'm losing my sanity. I might lash out even. Or do something horrible to myself.

And these black silhouettes of death aren't helping.