Self-destruction

Who Am I.

I remember being little and being afraid of busy roads and cars.

Well now I'm older, and I hope I get hit by a car.

Being a teenager who hates themselves just as much as they hated that one person in preschool who bullied them, it's kind of sad.

I hate to see myself young and happy in photos. And now I can't bear my appearance and I despise myself.

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without me. Would my friends even notice I was gone? Would there be an empty seat at the lunch table where I would always sit? I always feel like I could just answer my own question, no.

I don't know how I went from a harmless little girl who wore dresses and bows in her hair, to a depressed, self destructive teenager who wears only what I can to fit in. Or even just to not be noticed. And a teenager who just constantly thinks that their not good enough, for their friends, dates, family, people around them. Sometimes I feel like a complete eye sore.

I always hate when people look at me. Being me, I'm scared of what they're going to say, and I punish myself for it.

I'm a self-destructive-depressed-little-girl-who-only-wanted-to-fit-in, and nothing more...