I always make an effort to hide who I am, be someone else so I can live a normal life and have friends, but I just can't do it. I have some sort of compulsion to be who I really am and it drives people insane and it drives me insane. It forces them to hate me. I do make an effort, but it's never enough anymore.
Everything I do is out-shone so my efforts are discarded as something bad. I'll try something new, someone else will do it just so they can be better. Why am I not allowed to be the best or even considered good at something? I can't keep giving an effort like this in return for depression, loneliness and insomnia - I just can't do it anymore.
I can't do it.
