The Chronicles of Him

MONTH 3 WEEK 2

A few days from now, I'll turn a year older.

It's hard to think that so much time has passed by. I remember as if it was yesterday that we were in 6th grade running around the halls playing tag or running after teachers to sign the clearance sheet in order to graduate. The part where we were tasked to create an original song composition that will be chosen to be the official graduation was still fresh in my mind. I would never forget about that, it was a complete and utter surprise when our half-finished and super last-minute song was asked to be completed and polished to be ready for practice; meaning our song was to be sung by our colleagues , all 107 of them. Personally, until now it's probably my top greatest achievement and I'm very proud of it being inclined to music and all that, it's one of the little things that actually mean a lot and boosts the self-esteem a little bit.

But now I'm old enough to know actual shῘt.

I've been through a lot but I'm contented with where and who I am today; a little fine-tuning of the attitude maybe but overall, I'm good.

I'm grand.

Moving on, I always plan a get-together for my peeps, just a few close people that I've been working with through the years and my fabulous bitches of course. This year's a little extra special and I want it to be burned in my memory forever. Aside from that I plan to invite him as well; I've already been asking a little help from 2 close guy friends that he's also friends with and together they wish me luck as we try to find the appropriate time to set the plan in motion.

-

My birthday's today, in the middle of the week and the party will be 3 days later.

I arrived before he did and before I went inside, I saw 3 of my former group mates— which were in a different section now—peeking inside my classroom and turning to leave because they saw that I haven't arrived yet, but one of them looked back again and saw that I had just arrived in that moment and ran to me with hugs and greetings. I swear my day instantly got better, it was the sweetest gesture someone other than my own family could ever do and I died a little bit from happiness inside.

That's some adorable, cute-ass shῘt right there.

After a few minutes of talking and inviting them for the party we went to our own classrooms and once again I was greeted with warm and enthusiastic birthday greetings from my classroom close friends and a few acquaintances here and there. He arrived about a good 5 minutes later and the first thing the boy does is to approach me, asking me if I had a ruler, then leaving after I said I didn't have one with me.

The heck?

Okay so I totally wasn't going to let that just slip and it was just so convenient that a close guy friend of mine sat beside him and greeted me—he was one of my group mates from the previous year so we were platonically tight— after he saw who my friend was greeting he was shocked and asked me, "Today's your birthday?"

Damn right you little shῘt.

"Well, yeah. But it's too late you already asked for a ruler first so your greeting is invalid."

"Wait, I didn't know! I'm sorry wow I'm really sorry, Happy Birthday"

If you weren't so cute I'd murder you.

"Fine; you didn't know, it's okay"

"Happy Birthday"

"It's okay just stop"

"Sorry, Happy Birthday"

-

2 days before the party, I still wasn't able to invite him and I'm already starting to feel agitated so I just sucked up my pride and asked one of the guy friend that would help to just tell him ASAP, and I intentionally made my way to leave the classroom but he called my name and asked to confirm if he really was invited and it wasn't just a prank. I to the best of my acting ability nonchalantly said, "You don't want to?" in which he became flustered and panicked, probably fearing if I'd get mad and replied, "NO, I want to! I'll be there" and with a smile from him and my nod of approval the mission was accomplished.

Later that day there was this group presentation on Earthquakes and safety and all that and a girl friend of mine, who constantly bullies him just because, commented that he actually looks attracted in her eyes for once. But I didn't, only a little bit so I just ended up stealing glances here and there and afterwards I reminded him for the party the next day. He smiled and nodded enthusiastically and a "Belated happy birthday" before we parted ways.

-

Today is the day.

I'm terribly nervous of how things will work out in the end. I ended up skipping the afternoon class with 2 of my girl friends, and we just hung out at my house as we waited for the clock to run until it was time to leave for the party which was at a pizza parlor.

I changed into my civilian clothes, the only one standing out from the group who were all wearing uniforms. Before leaving my very supportive friends were also giddy at the idea of making me look extra 'cute' for that day so his jaw will drop to the floor. In the end I just wore a black ¾ sweater and white shorts then they begged to braid my hair so I let them be. I was a bundle of nerves but at the same time I had an uneasy feeling that just can't be related to being excited.

The people I invited started to gather and we were all there except for one of our six-girl circle— she had a pile of responsibilities that she just cannot bail on because she was the leader of the dance crew and they had an upcoming competition for the school festival so that was a bummer—, and him. The second guy friend of mine texted him saying that we were all here and he replied that his members won't let him go and he had to finish the project they were working on. In the end he wasn't able to come, guy friend #2 kept rubbing my back and consoling me because he knew exactly how I felt at that moment as he too went through the same. Surprisingly, at that moment it didn't bother me that much, but I knew that the reason why I wasn't upset as I should be was because I was surrounded by the people who make genuinely make me happy despite all the ups and downs, and the struggle that we have gone through. They were happy with me being with me being in that moment with them and the feeling is mutual. These are my people; my true friends. They have already established a place in my heart and life and no one can ever replace them. It was fine that he didn't go, more chances of me being able to focus on the people I care about; his loss.

Or so I thought.

The moment the party ended, he called me.

"Hello?"

"Hey, where are you? Is the party over?"

"It just ended. Where've you been?"

"They wouldn't let me go"

Didn't you try harder?

"Too bad then, we just ended"

"Oh, okay. Bye then"

"Wait—"

My girl friend took my phone from me and proceeded into scolding him for not showing up and tried to make him feel sorry for what he just did, she wanted to make him regret not being there with me; she looked and sounded so stern that I started to feel sorry for him, but then I remembered what happened and just dismissed the feeling. I just absolutely adore my girls. But at this point I was torn being ecstatic that he called me and disappointment at how easily he was to say 'good-bye'. I could feel my knees shaking and just took the phone and ended the call. I worried at how I was to face him on Monday. I told my girl friend to just let it go and she just went to insulting the guy and how much of an assh0le he was. I didn't dare object.

-

It wasn't until I arrived back home that the feeling of betrayal and despair came back with full force and gnawed at the pit of my guts.

How could he?

He promised.

I just kept on replaying what happened and as if sensing my need to talk to someone guy friend #2 texted me and we conversed about what happened earlier again and consoled each other's failed attempts in getting the person they liked. Afterwards the tension knot-like feel of emotions loosened up at the back of my head and I was able to breathe without hurting again.

Thank God for these people.

-

Nothing can wear you out like caring about people who don't even try nor give a damn about you.