The Train

     How did I end up here? Alone, sitting on a park bench, cheeks stained with tears. I wish I was back home. I wish I never moved to London. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have ended up here. I wouldn't have fallen in love. I wouldn't have had my heart crushed, again. Well I guess that's why I left in the first place, to escape the awkwardness you always get after a breakup. I should've just dealt with it and stayed. God, I'm such a fool.
     The noise of a train going by interrupts my thoughts. I smile and chuckle slightly at the thought of trains. He loved them. "No, Tyla, stop thinking about him" I say quietly to myself, shaking my head. This deserved an odd stare or two, but I just shook it off and continued to stare at the train. Just as it was nearly gone all the way into a tunnel, I'm stunned by what I see. Is this real? I pinched myself to make sure I was awake. This can't be. I see him standing in a window of the back cart, with a huge cheesy smile on his face, waving. Just waving. I nearly screamed his name, purely out of surprise, but I stopped myself. Before I could do anything, he was gone, along with the train. I didn't even realize it, but the tears had started to flow yet again. I quickly got up, starting to run. I didn't know where I was to go, but just that I needed to leave.
     After a while of mindless running, I found myself in a different park a few miles away, looking over the railing of a bridge, into a small, shallow creek. Now it was dark, midnight maybe, and it was raining. Not downpouring, but a steady patter. I don't understand how it's possible, but I was still crying. My mind was constantly wading back to him, no matter how much I tried to think of other things. Eventually, I was just laying down on the bridge just staring at the stars. The rain had stopped, but I was still soaked. I didn't care right now. I didn't care about anything right now.
     I was getting lost in my thoughts, barely even being able to think straight. I started to think about how I got to this low of a low. I still couldn't get my mind off of him. I started to think back to when we first met.
     I step up to the counter seeing that I'm next in line. I order my latte that I get every morning on my way to class. As I go to sit down to wait, I look around, aimlessly people watching. I see this short, tanned boy walk in. He looks about my age, and honestly, he was quite cute. His midnight black hair was swept across his forehead rather neatly for 8 am. He went to get in line. A few minutes later after he had ordered, I heard my name be called, signalling that my latte was ready. I had a few extra minutes, so I went and sat back down at the same table. I was scrolling around on my phone to look up and see the boy from earlier sitting there.
     "Tyla. That's a pretty name." His english accent was thick.
     "Ya, Tyla Rose is my full first name. Personally, I adore the person who came up with it."
     "That's even prettier." He simply responded. We ended up talking for a good 10 minutes or so when I realized I need to get to class.
     "Oh, I'm going to be late!" I said rushingly.
     "Oh well it was nice talking to you, Tyla Rose."
      "And to you, bye!" I was already in my car when I realized I never caught his name. Strange...
     I laughed at the memory. What good did I see in him, anyway? "You're not in the room, but you got me in a headlock, tied up, helpless, ready to be sacrificed, and buried, love me, love me forever," I sang the lyrics quietly to myself. Why do I have to still love him? I hate him for hurting me, but he's just so perfect. Maybe that was the problem, he was too great, too perfect. I thought I had done something right, letting him into my life, but boy, I couldn't have been more wrong.
     At this point, there was nothing else that could go wrong, so I decided to finally get up and walk home. I say home lightly, seeing as now it's just more of a house. The walk was lonely, awkward even. I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing. What if he's there? No, he can't be. I saw him going away from London on that train, and he's the type of person that won't come back. Then again, I am often wrong. Have been many times before. I just hope I'm right with this one...
     Once I got home, I found the house surprisingly empty. His friends must've gone out or something. It wasn't just us in the house. I had moved in with him and 3 of his closest YouTube friends. I went upstairs, and straight to the bathroom so I could take a long, hot bath. That's what I needed right now. When I got out, I went and got dressed, then straight to sleep.
     I was jolted awake by loud shouting. It wasn't the normal shouting that you always hear coming from the guys when they record, but rather proper bickering. You could hear both sides of the conversation. Curious, I ran downstairs to the kitchen to find Simon and Josh looking as if they were about to punch each other. Simon and Josh are 2 of the other 3 that live here.
     "Oh, you're up," were the first words spoken to me by Simon, venom enlaced within them.
     "Ya, of course. It's 9 am isn't it?" I respond, the obvious difference in our accents seem to ring in at least my ears.
     "Ya, I guess you're right," weird, Simon never agrees with me. At this point, it was clear that they were keeping something from me.
     "I know when you guys aren't telling me the truth. What is going on?" I claimed sternly.
     "N-nothing," Josh butted in with a slight smile on his face to try to cover up his horrid lying.
    "C'mon, I can tell when something is up, and something is right now."
Simon sighed, obviously defeated. "Okay, you may want to sit down for this one."
I did as he said.
     I didn't believe what he was saying. The train that he was on had crashed? And they haven't found his body yet? I know the crash was utterly inevitable, but I couldn't help feeling so guilty. If I had put up with him for even one more day, then he would still have a chance at living. The phone ringing interrupted my thoughts. Simon answered it immediately.
     "Hello?"
     "Is he okay?"
     "Okay, we will be over as soon as we can," Simon hung up the phone. "That was the doctor."
     "And?" Josh urged.
     "He's in a coma."
     Once we got to the hospital, we went straight to the front desk to find out where his room was. When we got to his room, Simon and Josh went in immediately. I waited a few moments, finding it slightly inappropriate to be so concerned for my ex-boyfriend. I let Simon and Josh have their few moments alone with him. I eventually went in and sat down in one of the chairs. After a little bit, Simon and Josh left to go to the bathroom to clean up their messy appearances.
     After heavy consideration, I went to kneel next to the bed. I held his cold hand as I spoke to him. "I did love you. Maybe I still do. I don't know. Even if I didn't, it still hurts me to see you like this. You caused me a lot of pain. So please, don't cause me anymore." With that I left. Though, before I could make it all the way to the door, I heard a quiet "I love you." I just shook it off. Moments later, the doctors were rushing into his room. They said he had woken up. They also said that he had stopped breathing. The last thing they told us was that he did not make it.
     All that has happened over the past day or so has been a fortunate tragedy. What I realized when I was laying on the bridge last night was that I deserve the world. It may have took my heart being broken twice over, a boy trying to run away on a train, and me nearly getting hypothermia from the rain, but frankly, it was all worth it.