Another Love [n.h + h.s]

four

A heavy sigh escapes my lips and I stare up at the ceiling. Nadine is laying peacefully right next to me. The breaths she draws are steady and indicates that she is still asleep. I turn my head to the side, grab my phone and press the home button. Instantly my phone screen brightens up and I see a picture of Nadine and I. The digits on the screen lets me now that it's four thirty in the morning.

I let out another sigh before I carefully sit up in bed. Dressed in only my underwear I leave our bedroom, and walk to the kitchen. My chest feels heavy and I push my hands through my hair. I take a shaky breath and the tears build up in my eyes.

"I can't do this." I whisper. My lips are dry but my eyes are the opposite. It feels like my heart might stop beating any second now and all I want to do is scream. Scream until I literally can't speak another word.

A tear slips down my cheek and a sob escapes my lips. Before I know it, I'm full on crying again. I don't know what to do anymore. All I ever do is cry and cry and cry. I want to be stronger than that. I want to be happy.

My heart beats heavily in my chest as I sit down on the floor, still crying. All I can think of, is how it used to be. How we used to be. He was mine, and I was all his. That's how it was. Oh how I miss him. The way his arm would wrap around me, and he would laugh as he held me. How he always whispered sweet little nothings in my ear and always made sure I fell asleep before him, so he knew I actually fell asleep. How always made sure I felt okay and that I always knew how much he loved me.

I can't help but let my thoughts wander off, off to the place they definitely should not be. What did I do wrong? What had I done that made him leave him? Why was I suddenly not enough anymore?

Those thoughts really are the ones that drive me insane. Yet, I always end up having them, always wondering what I could have done different. What I could have done to avoid this catastrophe.

But here I am, and I've lost almost every single person that meant something to me. All the most important people to me, they were all Niall's to begin with, so I lost everything that I loved. All except Liam and my family. Although I'm pretty sure Liam wants to give up on me most of the time. And I can't thank him enough for not doing that.

"Harry?" I hear a soft voice say. The sound of her feet against the floor, coming to me is also heard.

"What's going on?" she asks and the concern is so vivid in her voice. Never have I ever wanted to stop crying this badly. How am I supposed to explain this to her? I'm a fucking wreck. It's nothing I can just sweep under the carpet later.

Tears keep falling down my cheeks and I pull on my hair, only being able to croak out one word.

"Liam." The state my voice is in, is awful. The name I uttered is barely heard but she seems to have heard it anyways.

"I'll call him Har. I'll call right now." she says and I can hear her walking back to the bedroom to retrieve her phone I assume. It doesn't take long before I can hear her talking to Liam over the phone. The call however seems to be short and end quite abruptly.

Her feet pad against the floor as she walks back to me. My crying has toned down slightly due to the extreme exhaustion I feel. Having no energy to keep me up straight anymore, I lay down on the floor and let my eyes fall closed.

Nadine is by my side and I can hear her sighing. By the sounds of her movements, I can guess that she has sat down next to me. My thought are confirmed when I feel her lifting my head, to place in what feels like her lap. She threads her fingers through my hair and starts playing with it, combing it with her fingers. She begins to hum, and if it weren't for the fact that all of these actions reminded me of Niall, it would have calmed me enough to let me fall asleep right there on her lap. Instead they caused me to continue to cry. Sobs shook my body and I feel so utterly vulnerable.