Dear Brie,
I got mad at you last night. Yip, like very pissed off. And I know it sounds crazy. But then again when does it not? Especially with me. It is crazy to get mad at someone who isn't even here anyone but I did. And of course it was nothing you done but, I don't know, it's strange. It felt good to be mad at you, made me feel like you never left.
So it all started last night when I had a few-okay more than a few drinks. I was drinking to get rid of never ending pain. The hurt that grew each day. The guilt that bite bigger chucks of me. The voices in my head. The truth that you're not here with me anymore. I drank and drank to get rid of all those feelings and all those memories but with it all I forgot you were gone.
It just happened so strangely. I walked into our room and looked at the bed and saw that you wasn't there, I remember being confused and shrugging off saying your with Nicole. I laid down for a bit but I couldn't sleep. So I got up looked at the clock and saw it was after four in the morning. I got so irate. I thought why didn't you call or text me? I thought maybe you had run away from me! I thought you were annoyed with me or someone got hold of you. It's funny that with all that anger I never once thought you cheated on me because I know you wouldn't. I was down right angry but I didn't once assume cheating. I grabbed a chair and set it up right in front the door. So when you walk in I'd give you a piece of my mind.
The sun came up and you still hadn't reach home. I grabbed my phone and dialed your number, it went straight to voicemail pissing me off more. I knock over the coat rack and went to kitchen to get a piece of toast. I remember taking the grumpiest and angriest bites ever. When that was down I got up and drank two glasses of water looking around.
Then is hit me. You aren't out or annoyed with me, you're dead. You are never going to walk through that door ever again. That you were gone for life not for the night. It struck me that I've been waiting up angry at a dead woman for not coming back. I was waiting for you to return back home but you never walked through that door. Brie I thought about and cried myself to sleep, you'd never walk through that door again. You will never shout at me to come and help you and stop be lazy. You will never leave the door open which makes me angry again. You will never go out of your mind trying to find the perfect thing to hang on the door again. It will never happen. I've never realized how much a door could make you realize and miss things. Brie I don't know if I can deal with that. If I can live without it but I'm trying, trust me I am. I love you.
From the drunk who waited
To the beauty that will never walk through that door again,
Love always Dean Ambrose.
( a/n Short but needed. Anyway I hope you enjoy. The next chapter might be Nikki's so prepare yourself for sadness lol. Anyway the world is beautiful, I mean trees and stuff 🌴🌻🍁🌲🌳💦☀️⚡️☁️💨❄️🌊🌏💕)
