tired || l.h.

||

im sorry that i quoted a song in the middle of a very important scene

The silence of the morning was abruptly ruined by the piercing sound of Olivia's alarm. Beneath a cacoon of blankets, a hand reached out to swat at the blaring wake up call playing "Thnks fr th mmrs" that poured from her phone's speaker.

"Shut up, Patrick," said a voice, muffled by the pillow Olivia had buried her head in.

The song soon silenced, and the eyes of the teenager were slowly opened to view the dark sky outside her window, "6 o'clock in the fucking morning. I love him. It's official," said the blonde as she shuffled into her bathroom.

Her fingers rubbed at her face as she slowly prepared to take a shower. After she finished, Olivia commenced operation "Get Luke to Love Olivia".

She curled her hair. She wore a dress. She put on make-up. She even wore her mom's perfume.

All for one guy.

Her heartbeat raced when she heard the car horn honk from outside. Her fingers ran through her hair one last time before  she grabbed her book bag and exited her house.

She saw him before he saw her. His head was bopping slightly to the music even she could hear as she got nearer to his car. His thumbs beat softly on the starting wheel, and he didn't look up until she opened the car door.

She slid in softly and held her breath just before she buckled her seat belt. With a quiet sigh she lifted her head to meet his gaze.

"You look nice," he murmured incredulously.

"Thanks," she replied with a soft smile and her mind slowly began to analyze his choice of words. Nice? Not Beautiful? Pretty? Nice!?

Olivia dropped her gaze to her painted fingernails and slowly began to pick the nail-polish off.

"You look really good," he said after the beat of silence before putting the car in drive and taking off.

It took 1070 seconds to get to school from her house. 17 minutes. Not even half of an hour. So why did it seem like it took over a year?

Olivia could practically feel her heart beating in her chest, and her fingernail polish was almost completely off. Her palms were sweaty. Her knees were weak. Her arms were heavy. Waves upon waves of insecurity were crashing down upon her.

I look nice. Good. Innocent little nice good Olivia. Not good enough. Not pretty. Not beautiful. Fat. Ugly. Disgusting Olivia.

Luke's humming brought her attention off of herself. His soft voice escaping his plump lips. Olivia's eyes  latched onto him, and, as always, he took away the hate. Her mind too busy focusing on him to even concern itself with her.

"I even curled my hair," she said amidst his sing-a-long with Houndmouth.

"I noticed. Anything special planned?" He asked as they pulled into the parking lot of the school.

"Nothing really." LOVE ME.

"Oh."

They slipped into quiet as they grabbed their stuff for school as they walked toward the looming brick building before them.

°°°°

They were separated. Olivia felt the others' eyes as soon as the blue orbs she loved so much were taken from her by the school bell. The gazes of her fellow students were slowly causing the hateful thoughts to come back into her mind.

First period had been utter torture. Her entrance was as silent as everyday, but this time a football player from the back whistled loudly as she took her seat. It wasn't for you. Don't flatter yourself.

Second period was quiet, and that let her demons prey upon her mind. He  hands shook as she continued to pick at the non-exsistant fingernail polish. How could you think he could look at you as more than a way to entertain himself? He pities you!

Third period was with Luke. The history class was separated into parners as they hunched over the text to study Bastille Day. Luke fiddled with his fingers, beat his pencil absentmindedly on his desk, and sang softly as he worked with her. Olivia hovered nervously over he paper as she felt her palms sweat against the plastic of her lead pencil. He was always in her peripheral, and she couldn't get her mind off of what he thought. Nice. Really good. Nice good. Not pretty. Not cute. Nice. Good.

"Today is the day," he said in a husky whisper that pulled her attention to him. "I'm asking her out today."

The pencil rolled out of Olivia's moist hand, "T-the girl from our talk yesterday?"

Luke nodded as he chewed on his bottom lip before leaning back and stretching.

"I thought she was just a fling?" Olivia paused. Let it be me. Please tell me it is me.

"She's never been a fling," he locked his gaze onto hers, "She's perfect."

Her heart leapt in her chest as she looked away from his steady gaze, "Really?" He thinks I'm perfect?

"Hell yeah."

Fourth period came with an increasing amount of excited nerves on Olivia's end. She just had to make it to the end of the day. Four more hours. 240 minutes. 14,400 seconds. 14,339. 14, 338. 14,337. 14,3-

The counting in her head was cut off by the teacher entering the classroom with a cheery greeting to the class. She began immediately listing off what they had learned yesterday, but Olivia's mind drifted back to Luke. Images of possible scenarios played through her mind. Intertwining her fingers in his as he spoke calming words to her. Holding each other close as he placed a soft kiss to her forehead. His lips almost touching hers with a soft question escaping them, "Will you go out with me?" A smile made its way across her soft features, and the thoughts in her head were giddy with excitement.

She raised her hand suddenly, and when called upon, she asked, "May I be excused?"

The teacher nodded before beginning to talk about the study guide they were to complete. Olivia exited with a bright smile breaking onto her features. The hall was empty, and she let out a soft sigh to express her elated emotions. As she turned the corner, she heard the voice she had been hearing in her mind for the past thirty minutes.

"Will you go out with me?"

Olivia paused, her breath catching as she realized these words weren't imagined. He was actually saying them, and when she looked around the next corner of brick, she saw them.

She watches him from afar, and her hands shake softly at the sides of her body while her throat closes up. His fingers that she had imagined laced in hers were now curled in the brunette locks of another. His blue eyes that usually lit up when playing music were now scanning the face of the girl across from him. Olivia's heart hammered against her chest as she relayed the last conversation she had with him.

"I think I really like this girl."

She should have known it wasn't her. A soft sob escaped her lips, and Olivia turned away from the couple as she ran toward the hall she had just passed. The music room's door was left open, and with the light off she knew it was empty. The tears came easy once she crumpled to the ground.

I told you. You aren't worth anything to him. You are a pitied girl. He pitied you. You're barely worth the time he spends on you. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You knew this was coming. Who would want to date y-

"Olivia?"

Part 2 even though I suck and didn't post for 837264900776592 years. Sorry guys. I'm back though. Only one part left!! Yes, I quoted "Lose Yourself". I'm sorry.