insecure //newtmas au

Chapter Nineteen

Newt please

My parents hate me and I don't know what to do or where to go I don't have a home Newt, I never did.

My home is with you

I'm sorry I shouldn't of said that...

I love you so much

You probably hate me I'm so sorry i was meant to be protected you and yet I was the trigger.

You deserve better.

I hope you find someone good Newt. I want you to forget about me, you probably already have, but if not, do it, Newt.

This is going to be the last time I try and contacts you because I feel like doing this just gives us both more pain. I knew, from the first moment I met you, that I felt something, but I discarded it, ignored it,I didn't want to act on it. Be professional but I just couldn't. I built up my walls and somewhere, somehow you got over it. You got to me Newt, straight to my heart, and honestly, I think it will always be yours, whether you want it or not. I know I messed up, I know I should of told you as soon as we started becoming more involved but I couldn't, and I know that makes me sound weak, but I am. You're the strong one Newt, you. You've been through so much and even not knowing me very long you open yourself up to me and let me in. You did more good to me then I did to you. I had never been in love before, did you know that? Teresa was just to keep people off my back about not going out with girls, I never saw her that way, never saw any girls that way. I want you to know that even know my words mean nothing, that I care about you, and love you.. And I know you don't feel the same anymore but I don't want you to act against yourself because of me, I need to be punished, not you.

I could feel a tear slip out of my eye. I saw Thomas had also tried to send me a file, i opened it, it was Katy Perrys song The One That Got Away.

I got up and ran down the stairs, mum blocks me.

"You aren't leaving this house young man," she spits at me. "I had to leave work to look after your lazy ass," She spits.

Gally butts in.

"Mum.." He warns.

"Fine, go. Kill yourself, see if I care, should've let your father finish you off when he had the chance," She said and that's when Gally snaps, he punches me right in the face then walks towards me. Arm gripping my waist.

"You're a terrible mother, disgusting, we won't be coming back," He shouts then spits on the floor.

"Where are we going?" Gally asks as we leave, I was still to shook up to answer.

He just follows me and I know he knows where I'm going. Tommy's.

I knock on the door and an old women answers.

"Hello?" She says.

"Is Thomas here?" I ask looking around her to see if I could spot him.

"No one here with that name I'm afraid dear," She said and shut the door.

"What now?" Gally whispers.

I walk back up the path, disappointed then I think of something Thomas told me once, when he and his parents had a fight, he'd climb up to his treehouse in the garden and pull up the ladder so they couldn't get to him.