Secluded (Ashton Irwin)

Chapter 30

Reagan couldn't lie, she had so much fun with Sam and everyone the night before. She was a little shaky once she saw Ashton and Caitlyn, but Sam and the boys made the night amazing. She had forgotten how much fun she always had with them, she really did miss them.

Reagan was surprised when she saw she had a voicemail on her phone the next morning once she woke up.

Her heart felt heavy when she saw it was from Ashton. She wanted to delete it, just like she had done to all of his texts and previous voicemails, but she couldn't. She couldn't hold up this facade of not wanting to be with him anymore. She couldn't help but feel the need to hear his voice for more than ten seconds.

She listened closely, and when she heard him say, "It took me a long time to realize, but I love you," and then once he said, "Go fuck yourself," she couldn't help but feel her heart sink. She never meant to hurt him, and she felt like she had done that. She felt like she crushed him, and that crushed her.

She wiped the tears off her face and let out a deep breath. She had thought all this time away from him would make her feel better. She thought she would have been able to move on, but honestly she didn't move on at all. She thought about moving to New York, to get a fresh start.. again. But when she was with her friends last night, she didn't think she could leave them. She still longed for Ashton after all this time. Reagan had bottled up her feelings for so long, but now she needed to get them out.

We need to talk. Reagan sent to Ashton, Meet me at my place whenever you can. I'll be here this time.

Reagan knew facing Ashton would be hard, but she would never get the heartache to stop unless they talked and settled things. Even if things between them weren't going to be the same as they were before. She just needed some type of closure, she was sure Ashton did too.

Ashton's heart raced when he opened Reagan's text message later that day. He scanned his eyes over it quickly before hopping out of bed. He had spent the whole day watching netflix while laying in bed. He had been doing that a lot lately, he would just lay in bed if he wasn't working or watching his siblings. It was all he ever had the motivation for anymore. Sometimes he would go for a run, but that was very rare.

He put on his shoes and made his way into the living room where he found his mom.

"Hey sweetie. I heard you up late last night, couldn't sleep?" she asked with a soft smile.

"Not really, no. I'm gonna go out for a little bit. Call if you need anything and you don't have to wait on me if i'm not here for dinner," Ashton said with a gentle smile as his mom nodded. She understood he was hurting right now. He said his goodbye and made his way towards Reagan's house.

Ashton's hands were sweating the whole way to her house. He had to constantly rub them against the clingy material of his black jeans. He was just nervous. He didn't know what was going to happen. He didn't even know what he was going to say. He was still mad at all that happened between them, but he just wanted Reagan back in his life. Whether it was as a friend or a girlfriend. He just wanted to mend things between them.

Ashton finally got to her apartment and made his way upstairs. He took in a deep breath before knocking on her door.

Reagan let out an exhale once she heard the knocks and opened the door with a soft smile.

"Hi," she said softly as she stepped back to let Ashton in.

"Hey," he smiled as he took a seat on her couch. "So how are you?"

"Can we skip the awkward small talk," Reagan chuckled. She wasn't good at it, and she didn't want to feel anymore awkward than she already did.

"Alright," Ashton asked with a quiet laugh of his own, "I just don't know where to start or what to say."