0//ghost

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^Halsey^
A/N Enjoy, because I'm very passionate about Joshua Washington, okay?

I can't sleep. The thought of him and everything that's happened is suffocating me in every way possible. I can't do anything with myself because I'm so scared that if I put my life back together, I'll forget about him. It's almost the anniversary of their disappearance. I can't wrap my head around it.
He isn't dead, yet. He hasn't slipped into that place like his sisters.
I wonder where he is. I wonder if he's okay. Probably not. I wonder if he still feels the same about me as he did before.
The scene plays in my head, like it has every day.
"Alora- Get Josh into his room," Beth instructs. "I have to find Hannah,"
I nod, before walking around the table to Josh, who is passed out on it. His back rises and falls as he breathes.
"Josh," I poke him. "Josh get up. You should go to bed,"
He groans a bit.
"Joshua," I continue. He hums, lifting his head a little.
"Yes...?" He slurs.
"Time to sleep," I tell him, smiling a bit.
"That's actually what I was doing," He laughs before letting out a big breath.
"Yes, but I'm going to help you to your room," I wrap an arm around him and lift him off his chair.
"Thank you, Beth," He says. I laugh to myself, he thinks I'm Beth in his current intoxicated state.
He yawns, and smacks his lips together a couple of times.
I stumble with him to his room, the floor creaking under us. By this time, his arm is slung over my shoulder, warming me up a bit in the coldness of the lodge. A smile lifts the corners of my mouth up, and I feel the red color sweeping it's way across my cheeks.
In his room, I help him lay on the bed, and he stares at the ceiling.
"Beth, what do I do?" He sounds concerned.
"Hmm?" I reply, not knowing if he'll even notice if I tell him that I'm not Beth.
"Do you think I should tell her? I mean, it might ruin what friendship we have... But what if she feels the same?" He doesn't seem connected to his words, he's just speaking while fiddling with the torn corner of his pillow.
I stop grinning, wondering who he's talking about. His voice is spaced out, his words connecting together in long strings.
"She's just so great. I want to tell her. I should tell her, right?" He folds his hands together.
"I guess," My tone saddens. There's no way he could be talking about me.
"Okay. I will, probably tomorrow," His lips curve up into a smile.
"Alora Pleett. I am in love with you," He confesses to the ceiling, almost rehearsing, then he closes his eyes happily.
"Alora! Josh! Where did you go? We can't find Hannah and Beth ran after her! Come help us find them...!" I hear Jessica calling out, but I barely hear her.
Josh loves me?
He never "told" me like he wanted to. In fact, I've only seen him a couple of times since Hannah and Beth went missing. I regret so much. He's called sometimes, and I talk to him for hours when he does, but it will never be the same. He's like a ghost, now. I miss him.

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