SteveXReaderXBucky - Fight Song

Chapter 9 ~ I Don't Care

"Come on sunshine, you don't want this." Duggan says making tears fill my eyes.

"I want to be with you," I cry out as I tighten my grip on the window pane.

"I know you do, but I want you to live."

"What about what I want?" I cry out as I feel my knees buckle underneath me.

"I know it hurts but that's how you know you're alive." He says as he kneels down next to me. "Listen to me Sunshine," he says as he reaches up and placing his fingers under my chin lifts it enough to stare into his eyes,"I love you, you are my Sunshine, and I want you to be happy but if you do this then you won't be happy."

"I'm so lonely grandpa; I don't know what to do anymore. It hurts so much." He instantly pulls me into his arms and I clutch tightly to him like my life depends on it.

"It'll be okay Sunshine, you'll be okay." He says as he rubs my shoulders.

'I miss you," I say as I clutch tightly to him.

"I miss you too, but please be strong for me. I want you to be happy."

"Oh come on old man you know what'll make her happy," Devlin says and clench my jaw. "Come on kid, open the window."

"Sunshine, do not open that window,"

"I can't take this anymore!" I cry out loudly and grip tightly to the sides of my head as my grandfather and Devlin yell back and forth at each other. Tears stream down my face as I sit in the floor my legs pressed up against my chest as my lips tremble from the cold. "It hurts, everything hurts; I want it to end! Please just make it end!" I yell out as I start to pull at my hair their arguing only getting louder.

Opening my eyes I look over to see the bottle and instantly reach for it. Grabbing it I quickly bring it to my lips and start to chug drowning the voices out making everything quiet. Suddenly the bottle slips from my hand and crashes onto the floor making it shatter. I feel numbness overtake me and my eyelids grow heavier until they close completely. I hear people cry out my name but I can't move. It's quiet, so quiet. Everything's calm and peaceful. No more Devlin, no more pain, no more tears, just quiet.

It's warm, so warm.

"(Name)!" Steve cries out from somewhere in the darkness making my heart rise in my chest.

What's going on?

"Come on (Name) you need to throw up!" Steve's voice says again and I look around.

Why is it so dark? Where is everyone? What did I do?

"Follow my voice Stark, come back!"

Bucky? Steve? What's going on?

I suddenly feel something go down my throat and my eyes instantly shoot open as all the alcohol I had drank comes back up from my stomach.

"Good girl, come on just keep at it." Bucky says as he rubs my back while Steve holds my hair.

"W-w-w-what h-h-h-happened?" I ask as the black specks quickly leave my eyes making me realize I was now in the bathroom head in the toilet as more vomit spews from my mouth.

"We heard you crying out and came running." Steve says making you slowly turn to look at him his eyes filled with worry and panic. "When we found the door locked we panicked,"

"Sorry about the door," Bucky says and I chuckle slightly as I say, "W-w-what is it with y-y-y-y-you and doors Barnes, w-w-w-w-what did my doors ever do to you?"