September. (A Josh Ramsay Fic)

Thirteen - So Kiss Me

It was a week since I had found out about Josh's... habit. Coincidentally, it was also a week before school started again for the new year. It was around 10:40pm, and Matt and I were sat in the back of a random bar, watching Ramsay Fiction play. Josh's band, as it turned out, consisted of Josh, his older sister Sarah, and three guys I didn't know- according to Josh, their names were Jake, Ian and Kyle. From what I had heard so far that night, they weren't half bad as a band. The first song they played had been the one Josh had sung to me a week prior, Shallow, and he seemed to grin at me quickly before they had began to play it. I didn't understand a lot of the things he did, especially when he was onstage. He would shoot me winks and grins, or sing in my direction, ignoring the crowd and seeming to forget that only forty minutes earlier I had been huddled with him in the mens toilets of this very bar, trying to supervise Josh to make sure he didn't accidentally overdose, or even worse, get caught. 

I had made a pact  with Josh- I wouldn't tell anyone about his addiction, as long as I was always there when he took it. I felt an incredibly strong need to keep this boy safe, and if that meant sneaking into his basement at 4am every day, I'd fucking do it. It was like clockwork- every six hours, Josh needed a fix, and every six hours, I was there. 4am, 10am, 4pm, 10pm, and repeat. The first hour was always scary. For about twenty minutes after smoking, he would be spaced out and unresponsive. When that passed, he would laugh for around ten minutes straight, and then for half an hour after that, his actions weren't completely dissimilar from someone who was intoxicated.

"Who the fuck gave this kid a beer?" I heard some guy chuckle a few meters away. 

"I dunno, but he's got some lungs I'll say" said his friend, both of them sporting handlebar moustaches and gripping glasses of whiskey in their meaty hands.  

"Nah, he sounds like a girl" said the first again, before looking over at me and catching me staring. He walked over to me quickly, a cocky smile slipping onto his face.

"Now, now, little girl, what are you doing in a scary place like this?" he asked, thumbing the sleeve of the blink-182 shirt I had stolen from Matt- it was too big for him anyway, and I had a new-found love for the band.

I recoiled from his touch, attempting to spit out that I'm here to support my friend, and could he kindly fuck off in the general direction from which he had come. However, I didn't exactly manage to say that.

"I- uh, uhm, I'm-"

"You want a drink? Or are you babysitting your brother here?" he tipped the corner of his whiskey glass towards Matt.

"I'm not her little brother" Matt murmured, and I hoped the man didn't hear him.

I noticed that, as the man inched closer to me, his putrid breath grazing my neck, his friend acted as if the situation wasn't happening, simply sipping his drink and listening to Josh's band play their set. I felt trapped. I was too weak to protect myself from this man, Matt was just a kid, and nobody around me seemed to realise what was going on.

"How's about" he breathed, grabbing my arm in his clammy hands, "I take you back to my place, huh? We can have a little fun."

"I- I'm fifteen" I squeaked, trying to prise myself from his grip

"Oh," he laughed, his voice thick and terrifying, "even better."

"Hey, you!" I jumped when I heard Josh yell into the microphone from the stage. "Yeah, you, Handlebars! Leave the lady alone!" The man's head whipped around to stare down Josh, gripping tighter to my arm, which was now turning red under his grasp.

"Oh yeah, or what, Lady Lungs?"

"Or I'll have security escort you from the premises" Josh shrugged, stating this as if it was an obvious conclusion. The bar security's attention had been grabbed with those words, and they walked over to speak to Josh, asking him who was causing trouble.

The man released my arm, shoved his drink into Matt's hand, and left, dragging his friend along with him.

Soon enough, the set was over, the bar was closing, and Josh was pulling me into his arms, rushing a thousand 'sorry's into my shoulder. Matt went to help the rest of the band load their kit into Ian's van, and we had been left alone in the dimly lit room. 

"That was my fault, I'm so sorry" he whispered, arms wrapped around me as if I may disappear of he let go.

"It wasn't your fault, you did nothing to cause that, it's okay Josh." I reassured, pulling away from his tight grip. "Also, if you keep hugging me like that, you'll suffocate me." 

"Oh" he laughed, grinning like a fool. "Sorry."

"We should probably go and help the others pack the stuff up" I said, standing up from the booth we had settled into ten minutes prior. "I know Matt said he'd help, but, well, he's Matt." I laughed.

"Wait" Josh said, putting his hand on my shoulder to stop me from moving any further. "There's something I have to do, before I lose the confidence." 

And then he kissed me.