Just End It | An After Mockingjay Short Story

Chapter 9

I have to close my eyes this time just to make sure I wouldn't react the same way again.

When the brace is safely around my neck, a sense of security washed over me. At least now it wouldn't be as painful to move around.

In around 15 minutes after the incident with Peeta in the hospital room, we are back in Dr. Aurelius' office. I actually begin to wonder if I will get another flashback

"Hello again, Katniss, Peeta," Doctor Aurelius greets us. We greet him back.

"I just want to tell you how sorry I am about what happened the other day... I shouldn't have..." He trails off, and I know its because he's afraid of triggering one of my flashbacks.

I shake my head softy, before saying, "Its okay. We are fine." I glance at Peeta as he gives my hand a squeeze.

"So Katniss, I have finally figured out your condition. I remember you were diagnosed with it before the rebellion. We thought it was gone from our conversations on the phone. I believed that you didn't have it anymore. But now, I know, that that's not true, and that you are still suffering from it." He pauses, before saying, "You still have post traumatic stress disorder, Katniss."

I was actually expecting that. I knew that it was back after my first panic attack, a few years after Peeta came home. I knew it all this time, although, it didn't bother me. I couldn't stop it after all I've been through.

"Also Katniss, your condition is a lot worse than cases with PTSD. No other patient has ever wanted to kill themselves during a flashback. None. And the problem is, Katniss, we don't know how to deal with it exactly."

Peeta gives my hand another squeeze, this time, a lot harder. This must be how Peeta feels when I am holding his hand while Im nervous. Poor Peeta.

"It doesn't bother me anymore. Someone that I loved told me that I had to stop. I know I won't do it again."

The doctor is startled by my response, and he and Peeta share a look as Peeta shrugs at him. Then, Peeta turns back towards me.

"But Katniss-" Peeta starts. I just cut him off, just like I have done so many times when Peeta is insisting on something.

"Peeta, I know I won't. Prim. I saw her. While I was unconscious, I was in heaven. I know that it was just a dream, but I saw Prim. She said that I had to stop having flash backs with me trying to kill myself. And do you know what she said next? She said, that if I ever succeeded in suicide, you would be damaged beyond repair, Peeta. She said that you would kill yourself from grief. Especially if it was you who I convinced to kill me. And I knew that that was what I kept trying to do. I knew I had to stop, and I did stop. Prim, Prim, Prim. As much as I grieve over her death, I cant let the guilt win. I will stay right here, right here with the boy I love."

Peeta stays quiet for a few moments before I realise how close I have gotten to him. Our lips are just inches apart. I lean in and close the gap. Our lips meet, sparks setting off. Peeta seems satisfied, even comforted by my response, and happy about our kiss. So am I.

We have to pull away soon, knowing that a confused Dr. Aurelius is staring right at us. I blush immediately. I don't think Peeta and I have ever been this intimate when we weren't in the privacy of just each others company. Except for in the games. The whole of Panem saw you two on the beach.

"So. If you are certain, Katniss, then thats great. However, I still think that we should give you some medicine for if you are feeling like your flashbacks are coming back." I nod gently. I remember what Peeta said. Just to be on the safe side. "And Peeta, you will need some medicine, too. The same goes for you. If you feel a flashback coming, then take a pill, and grip onto something, which I know you usually do. You both should always keep the pills close to you." Peeta and I both nod, before Dr. Aurelius prescribes our medicine. Peeta will sure need them a lot, don't you think?

After we leave the doctors office, we head to the bottom floor in the hospital to pick up and pay for the medicine we were told to use from the small pharmacy. It is already our third day in the capitol, so Peeta and I agree that we should leave as soon as possible.

When we arrive at the door of the hospital, we find the same man that had brought us here three days ago. He offers us a ride and before I can answer, Peeta declines. I look at him suspiciously.

"Peeta, what are you doing?" I ask, confused about why he would decline the offer.

"I have something to show you," He states simply. I nod slowly. Peeta slips his hand into mine, leading me towards the door. Once we are outside, he smiles at me, guiding me down the street. We weave through through the streets in between the tall skyscrapers of the capitol, before stopping after around ten minutes. I look around, expecting to see something extraordinary nearby, however, I just find the most simple but thoughtful structure. We are in the square, the area where the people in the capitol could watch the games in the fullest experience. The screens are obviously not on anymore. No more crowds. No more cheers echoing through the land. Just a fountain.

The fountain is not ordinary, though. The circular ledges of the fountain are covered in hundreds of tiny, little people. The fallen. They are all holding hands above their heads, looking proud. They all show the actual person's features. Everyone, except for the cruel President Snow, is there. I can even make out a small girl with two long braids against her shoulders.

I feel the tears silently slip down my face. Its beautiful. I glance at Peeta, who has a small smile on his face, then turn back to the fountain. The wetness on my face increases, more and more tears escaping my eyes. I whimper softly, before pushing myself into Peeta's safe and warm arms. He rubs my back with his palm. The gesture calms me down.

"This is beautiful." I squeak. I lift my head out of its hiding spot and look at Peeta. He looks sad yet happy. "Its perfect," I whisper.

"Yes, it is." Peeta answers. "Katniss, remember the time I told you I was coming to the capitol to arrange supply delivery to the bakery? I did do that, but I also helped design this. Im sorry I didn't tell you. I just didn't want to... I wanted you to see it for yourself."

I nod, a smile returning to my face again.

"Thank you," I whisper. Then I bury my face into his thin jacket once more.

The horrors that haunt me will forever stay with me. No matter how hard I try to escape them they will always be there. There is no use in running. So I need Peeta. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again. And only Peeta can give me that.

*****

After spending some time at the fountain, examining everyones faces and being grateful that we still have each other, Peeta and I walk to the train station. Our hands were laced together, and holding our suitcases with our other hands, just the way we did when coming here. We quickly purchase our tickets. Sitting down on one of the benches, we wait for our train to arrive. I rest my head on Peeta's shoulder as we wait. It arrives in only around ten minutes because we bought tickets for the first train back to District 12.

I step into the vehicle, no longer scared.

My name is Katniss Everdeen. I came to the Capitol. I stopped having flashbacks. Now I'm going home.

•••

Hi everyone :) 

That chapter was so cute! Lots of everlark in there! ahhhh sorry I just love everlark *laughs cheekily*

And I hope you liked this chapter! An this is the last chapter of this short story awww. But anyway, I hope you liked it!

Thanks for reading, everyone!

-fansreads