Regrets || Phan

Regrets #1

P H I L

I sat on my bed, vision shattered, my breath coming out in heavy sobs. The sparkling razor lay innocently beside me. Slowly, my feeble, shaking hand reached out for it. This was it.

*************1 year later*************

I sat on my bed, vision shattered, my breath coming out in heavy sobs. The sparkling razor lay innocently beside me. Blood was splattered up my arm & on my bedsheets. I felt my body getting weaker with every heave of my chest. My eyes closed. The darkness engulfed me. I was alone again.

The doorbell rang. My eye opened slowly. I gradually got to my feet, the dizziness filling my whole body. There was blood everywhere. The doorbell rang again. I rolled the sleeves of my red hoodie down and went downstairs. I opened the door.
"Phil? Are you okay?" Dan asked suddenly.
"Yeah, I'm fine! How was your day?" I replied, my heart dropping slightly. I hated lying to Dan.
"You don't look fine Phil, let me make you a coffee." Dan hugged me and walked into the kitchen.

"I'm just going to go shower." Dan said eventually after telling Phil about his day.
"Okay! See you soon." I had forgotten about the blood.

"PHIL!" Dan yelled. I sat down. He knew. Dan would have a go at me and then comfort me & say everything would be alright. But it wouldn't. It never would.
Tears started streaming down my cheeks. Dan rushed into the room & put his arm around my neck. I buried his face into dans shirt & sobbed for what seemed like hours. After that I must've fallen asleep.

When I woke up, the room was dark. Dan was sleeping, his head resting on my shoulder. I carefully dislodged myself from under him & I walked into the kitchen. I put the kettle on and made some coffee. I also grabbed a bag of crisps from the cupboard and wandered back into the living room. Dan was awake.
"Hey." I whispered.
"Hey." He smiled, his eyes black rimmed from exhaustion.
"I made some coffee?" I placed the drinks and bag of crisps on the table. Dan perked up almost instantly.

They ate in silence until Dan spoke.
"Why did you do it?" He asked me. I could feel his eyes burning on my back. I couldn't face him.
"Have you ever had a time where you really regret doing something?" I whispered, my voice cracking.
"Yeah, all the time. Why?"
"You know last year, when I nearly killed myself...well I regret that."
"Regret wanting to kill yourself?" Dan asked, confused.
"No," I breathed, "not killing myself."
I didn't even say anything else before Dan wrapped me up in one of his hugs and whispered "Where would I be without you Phil?"
& I couldn't answer.

GUYS HI I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS CHAPTER ANYWAY ILL BE UPDATING WHENEVER I CAN BE BOTHERED YAY SO SEE YOU SOON.
JASMINE X