Secret Love- Auslly Fanfic

Distractions

"I understand the situation. And so, in a way, you disobeying my rules was even more responsible. I'll lift your punishment for a few hours tonight. But I want you home by eleven-thirty." Ally nodded, momentarily forgetting her father couldn't see her.

"Thank you, so much. I'll see you later then," she said when she remembered. 

"Yes. I'm very proud of you, Ally. Goodnight for now."

"Night, dad." She hung up and turned to Austin.

"What is it like, to loose someone you love?" Austin asked abruptly. Ally put a hand on his shoulder. 

"Austin, I told you. Rebecka will be fine. Why are you asking me this?" 

"It's just...I think I finally realize what you wen through. With your mom. Partially. I mean, not the part about all the bad stuff she did, but the fact that she's gone. I want to know how you felt about it. I want to know if I really am understanding." 

Ally was unsure exactly what to say. She'd of course blocked out all of the painful feelings that went along with her painful past memories. And she didn't want to have to dig them up again...but for Austin. She stopped and sat on the curb, beckoning him to do the same. Closing her eyes, she recalled what she could. 

"Before she was really gone...it was fear. I was scared. Of what I was going to do without her. Of what the future would hold. Afterwards...it's too real. Regret, remorse. I still think about all of the things I could have said and done differently. I think of all of the things I could have done to prevent everything," Ally described. 

"But then...how do you stay so strong?" Austin wondered.

"How do I stay strong? Austin, I'm not strong at all. I try, and I can cover up, but you've seen my scars.. You know how close I came...but I try to let it go. I focus on the real future, instead of dwelling on the past. I find happiness, hidden between folds of grief and sorrow. I learned to live again, though it wasn't easy at first."

"You know, Alls. You may have stage fright, but you'rew a lot braver than anyone really knows." Ally promptly kissed him on the cheek. 

"That's super sweet. You know...if I have to move-" she was cut off by Austin.

"I don't want to talk about that! I can't even think about losing you," he exclaimed.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I brought that up. I don't like to think about it either.  But Austin..." she began tentatively.

"Yeah?"

"Well, when I was on the phone, my dad said he was proud of me. When I think about it though, honestly, I don't know what there is to be proud of. I'm just...me." 

That's exactly why he's proud of you. You are beautiful and intelligent, selfless and talented. People like you are rare. Treasure, even. Treasure I was lucky enough to find," Austin proclaimed. 

"Oh my gosh, Austin, those are the prettiest words anyone's ever said about me! I'm like, literally crying now!" It was true, Ally could feel her eyes tearing up.

"No, don't cry. And all I'm saying is the truth." Ally was doubtful, still.

"Yet, the truth makes me sound so perfect. And I'm not. Not even close," she argued.

"Well, yeah, no one's perfect. But you never let that stop you from being amazing."

They sat in the quiet of the night air. And while Austin knew that all along Ally was trying to veer him away from the subject of his sister, he couldn't just hide his worry. "I...I don't know what I'd do if Rebecka is really gone."