Things That Will Make People Look At You Funny (True Stories)

1. Do not suck on your toe

I was in the pool at swim practice and a girl asks "Can you get your foot up to your face?"

"Yep."

"Prove it."

I was more than happy to oblige. I pulled my foot up to my face. She grinned, "I dare you to bite it."

I stuck my foot in my mouth and started sucking on it. The girl immedeately turned around and told her sister to look. "Do it again," I stuck my big toe in my mouth and started sucking on it. Her sister turned around and told the next girl and so on.

The coach chose that moment to look at me. She stared. "Quit making out with your foot and swim."

                                                                       ---FIVE MINUITES LATER---

"Stop thinking about your foot."

                                                                          ---AFTER EIGHT LAPS---

"Seriously, make out  with your foot later." I grin.

                                                                         ---FOUR LAPS LATER---

I was laughing hysterically (which is a very bad idea in the water,) "Stop thinking about your foot and swim already!"

                                                                        ---AFTER PRACTICE---

"Anything interesting at practice today?" I think for a second. "The usual."