Someone fucking just kill me already
I'm so tired I don't even know why
Nothing's happening!
Nothing's wrong
School isn't that bad
Bullies don't bully me anymore
My friends are.... hum... alive.
I have good grades(for now)
I feel like I'm good at drawing after all those years of trying! (The cover is MY drawing!)
Like....
Why am I feeling so bad every night?
Why do I feel like crying every time I'm alone?
Why do I just want to cut myself all the time?
Why is night supposed to help but it's only pulling me down?
Why?
What is happening to me?
Why?????
Can't I understand myself?!
It's annoying me!
Stop!
Can't I be a normal person?!
Can't people forget I exist and just act like nothing?!
Again I heard there were rumors about me but SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Do you want me to create rumors about you?!
I could!
I hate everyone.
My friends aren't even so close.
In real life.
At school.
I have no one to go to when I'm alone.
They all have their first choice and it's never me.
''Oh but you have your boyfriend''
Whose school anxiety got him never going to school and feeling absolutely horrible every time so much that I can't appreciate his presence.
But yeah, I have my boyfriend, of course.
My fucking friends.
Nolan, who's a very good friend.
Who's always with others.
He kinda looks like me tho...
He always looks like he's trying to fit in and people ignore him.
Shit, now I feel bad.
Not like he'll ever find out I wrote this anyway.
Who cares?
I don't.
It'd be so much easier if I didn't give a single shit.
I tried to convince myself I didn't care.
Two years ago.
Mh.
I cared so little I started self harming.
In a way, maybe I should've cared more when I see about where it got me today.
I was so so so stupid.
What a Stupid idea it was.
I ruined my life.
I'm such an idiot.
I can say the principal ruined my life, I can say my broken friendships ruined my life, I can say my bullies ruined my life.
The truth is, it all was always my fault.
