Long Away (Queen Fanfiction)

Chapter Seventeen

I'm not waiting any longer. I have to tell Brian. For the past week he's been begging me to talk to him, and lately he's been awake late at night. He's probably anxious. I'm ruining him, but this will ruin him more.

Queen aren't recording today and I don't have work, so I get to spend the day with them. After a brunch in the city, we go back to the house. I decide to talk to John about my situation since he seems like a good listener.

"Deaky?" I whisper, tapping him on the shoulder. "Can I talk to you about something?"

"Sure, let's go to my room."

I follow him upstairs to his room and we sit on the edge of his bed.

"What's going on?" he asks.

"Well, I'm kind of in a situation."

"Oh, I think I know. Brian and Roger. You have to let one of them down, don't you?"

"Yeah. I think I, uh, strongly like Roger."

He raises his eyebrows, half smiling. "Oh?"

"Yeah. He knows, Brian doesn't. Roger almost asked about it last week, and ever since then Bri has been a mess worrying about what I'm gonna tell him. I want to tell him soon, though. I hate seeing him so anxious."

"If he's so anxious, it could be better to leave him that way. You would break his heart if you chose Roger over him, especially after he wrote a song for you, and since he was being so romantic for you." He pauses. "I really think he loves you, Roxanne."

Whoa. Brian really loves me? I can kind of tell, but hearing it from his bandmate could possibly mean it's true.

"If he loves me, I don't think I should pretend to love him back. That would hurt him even more, wouldn't it? I'd be leading him on. I don't do that to people I actually care about. Back at home I hardly even lead anyone on. I'm an honest person."

"But he's known Roger forever. To know that you, um, strongly like him would probably cause some issues."

Right before I respond, I see Freddie standing in the doorway.

"What's going on?" he questions.

"Roxanne is thinking of letting Brian down," John explains.

"Oh, darling. You can't do that," Freddie scoffs. "He really likes you. He might even love you!"

I can't take this anymore. I'm getting more anxious than Brian. So many thoughts are running through my mind. I can't handle this. Why did I have to end up in the same place as Queen? Why me? I begin to hyperventilate, running my hands through my hair nervously.

"Oh, god, did I say something? I'm so sorry." Freddie comes rushing to my side, trying to comfort me with John.

"I... just... c-can't... handle... hearing... that... right now," I say between breaths and sobs.

"I am really sorry for saying he loves you. Believe me, I am."

"It's... not... you."

"Talk when you're ready," John says.

I take a minute to calm down, then I speak. "It's not that I'm just choosing Roger instead of him, I just... I..."

"You what, dear?" asks Freddie.

"I don't feel anything for Brian."

"You were going to say you love Roger, I know it."

I sigh. "Okay, fine!" I shout. "I do love him."