Barely Human

Uh Excuse Me?

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.   ....Laurence J Peter.

Draco pov

Blaise burst out laughing like the git he is, spluttering and gasping for air , “you..you did what?” Holding back a snort of utter disbelief at Blaise unbelievably outrages behavior, I conceded he had a point. Nobody in Hogwarts’s history did ever dare to mess with that mess of brown curly hair, she wasn’t the ‘brightest witch of our age’ for no reason. Feeling a small sense of satisfaction I relaxed into the dark emerald plush cushion chair smirking to myself . “Mate aren’t you afraid she would have your bloody balls of?’ Blaise obviously recovering from his outburst stupidly asked. Okay , fine. Granted it wasn’t stupid, but come on, that beaver wouldn’t dare think out it would it? I know for a fact many witches talked about it but never quite along this path. Great Draco you’ve just probably offended the brightest witch if the age and she probably knows a billion curses to hex my precious balls off. 

“well blaise , I believe we would just hear the extent of damage my oh so marvelous idea has caused, in about three… two…. One…”  “MALFOY!” that shrill unmistakable voice rang through the vast grounds of Hogwarts so much so I couldn’t help but cringe slightly., however that did not stop the onset of laughter just waiting to escape from me. Uncontrollably , I too burst out laughing in victory . That would teach that bloody tease something. I was too absorbed in my thoughts to realized Blaise had stopped laughing and was staring intently at me somewhat creepily too. Annoyed I let out a huff,” honestly Blaise , if you stare at me any longer I seriously am going to suspect you’re gay . oh dear my Malfoy charm has gotten to you, oh poor Wesealette what ever is she going to think?” I spat back sarcastically at him. His eyes blazed with irritation but refrain from t continuing the taunt . I watched his onyx eyes slowly came to a conclusion. Oh shit. How could I ever be so fucking stupid? I should have known better with Blaise, he reads me like a goddamned open book . Fuck, he is going to get a leverage on me. Bracing myself for the inevitable I leant further back into the chair, spitting out ,” what the bloody hell is your problem ?” Blaise pursed thin lips slowly stretched into one of his trademark evil grins  as his eyes now were ignited with a fiery passion. “you bloody git, you like her.”  He looked me straight in the eye before I could react and apparently what he saw gave him confirmation allowing him to burst out into another one of his infamous fits, “ oh Merlin!  Ickle-bitty drake-poo has a huge huge crush on Hermione granger! Isn’t that so adorable? How cute of you Drakey-Wakey. Inform the witches daily, oh such a romantic scandal, oh how much hearts must yiu have broken Drakey .oh but the joy , you have finally found your true love.” Blaise danced around me like a big oaf high on fire whiskey and drugs singing in that annoyingly frightfully falsetto pitch of his.  Blaise batted  and fluttered his long eyelashes at me taunting me further as he saw the dark look slowly growing inside of me challenging him to say one more word. Foolishly he staredto invent his very own song which I could only groan internally to. “ Drakey and Hermione , sitting on the tree, k-i-s-s-i-n” before he could finished I leapt out yanking his green and silver tie forcefully pulling him nose to nose, “ Now Blaise , I want you to repeat every single word after me. Is that quite clear for you?’ Blaise chuckled nervously as beads of sweat started to appear on his forehead. ‘y…yes “ stammered. “you shall not breathe a single a single word about  to anybody or so help me the next thing you know your balls would end up in somewhere untraceable. Maybe your hair too” I winked . I had to add that for the full effect, Blaise was the only single man that I ever knew who treasured his hair more than his balls or arse. “not the hair” he gasped aghast , his eyes widened in terror.

“ well, well look at what we have got ourselves here. How did I ever know the great and glorious Malfoy has quite a outrageous fetish for men. Not that I find it devastating which many of the mindless Draco club would . oh dear , the tragedy. Poor men now they too would have to fear the ever so great  Malfoy ‘ attentions, I suppose” a incredibly sultry and seductive voice purred from the door way.