Running On Empty

Chapter 18~ Jaylin

Then all the eyes shifted to Frica who seemed despondent. Her shoulders started shaking,

"Yes, that's right. My father is right," her eyes shot in my direction as she gritted her teeth, "I want to be with you, Jaylin. You don't even know what it's like to be in love with someone."

"But I-"

"I already unpacked my things, so I am here to stay." This time, I saw something in her that I had never expected. Slowly, water started streaming from her eyes, running down her cheek. She stood up from her seat and looked at me.

I had made her cry.

"Please excuse me, I need to use the bathroom. I am sorry for rude behavior." She bowed to my father quickly and passed me, her high heels clicking on the floor as she ran out of the room. All of the servants, Mr. Brown and my father watched in shock as she left.

"I am sorry, I must go." I grabbed my crutches and stood from the table and this time, my eyes were set in the direction where Frica had left crying.

I ran with my crutches for the second time, this time it was to chase after the girl I had made cry for the first time.

I had never hated Frica. She was nice and quite normal from what she had first appeared to be, I just couldn't feel the same way about her as I did for Silya. The feeling wasn't nearly the same. Maybe this is what people called love.

I knew that I had appreciated the fact that Frica would come to me when I was feeling down about Silya and I also was thankful that she had feelings for me. At the same time, I was sorry for the fact that I couldn't return her feelings no matter how hard I could try in the future. Loving Frica would have been easy, but it wouldn't be right if these were not true feelings of love.

The choice had been made though already. Frica had now moved into my house. Silya could be an even further away from me now.

If I could just explain to Frica how I felt, maybe she would change her mind.

Once again, I felt my chest getting tight as my continued on running. I saw the front doors slowly close as Frica's back started getting smaller. The sound of her crying rang through my ears.

"Wait Frica! Please, I didn't mean to make you cry. Please stop for a moment."

Frica kept on running though. She ran into the darkness.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The breeze outside was cool and low. From a distance, I could see a small figure sitting down beneath the tree. I approached her slowly. Her head was buried between her knees.

I laid my crutches in the grass and placed myself next to her. I understood the way she felt. Her feelings would never be return, just like it was going to be with me and Silya. I wanted to tell her that she would be better from now on.

What could I do to make her feel better?

How could I be a good friend to her?

I leaned my head against the trunk of the tree and felt the wind lightly brush against both of us. Somehow this feeling felt peaceful.

It was like Frica and I had once again had time to ourselves to let down all the walls that were built by the pressures of our demanding fathers. It was unfair for us to be caught in all this mess.

Maybe it was unfair for Frica to get hurt because of the way I felt for some other girl than her. She was right though, I had never known what it was like to fall in love with someone else before Silya. Maybe in Frica's eyes I had only fallen for Silya because she was the first girl I had ever seen.

"Frica, it's fine if you don't say anything to me. After all, the things I said were harsh, but I don't regret saying what is true to me. I love Silya and that is all I know for now. I am glad that you have come to like me. I think you were crying earlier because I couldn't return what you were feeling for me. But please just know that I want us to be friends. I value the things you have said to me so far. I love that you don't like leaving me alone and try your hardest to make me happy. You're honest and sweet. You were the first person to like me without me realizing. "

"I don't like you. There's no way you could prove that," she mumbled, "don't say these things like you know me."

"I saw you cry and that is when I figured it out."

Frica looked at me, this time there was a slight smile. "So, you saw right through me didn't you? I was a fool to fall in love, right?"

I shook my head and smiled gently, "I would regret never loving someone. Even if I got rejected or hurt in the end, I would still be grateful for experiencing it. If I didn't, I would have never lived through the warm, electrifying feeling that comes with loving someone truly from the bottom of my heart."

"Does this mean we have to say goodbye?" She looked rather sad.

"I think we could say that we are saying goodbye to this chapter in our lives. I don't think it means that for our friendship. I think in order for new doors to open, goodbyes to our past is required. It is better to think what we learned from each new experience."

Frica kept her eyes on me. I think she was speechless.

"Yeah, you're right." She nudged me on the arm, "Who knew you were this smart?"

Both of us laughed and I felt the atmosphere between us instantly lighten.

She helped me back up and brushed the grass off her dress. "I hope that you and Silya will be able to have a happy ending. I can see that she likes you too. There's no way she wouldn't I don't think she would be that dumb to pass up a great person like you are."