Eternal Hunger | Koichi x Tsuzuku

PROLOGUE

Something is wrong with my friend. It has been, for quite some time.

We've known each other ever since we were in our early twenties, we were in a band together. He joined to quickly fill in the position after our bassist left and then we just sort of stuck together.

And it has been the same thing ever since I knew him.

Usually, he is this energetic, charismatic, kind of a bitchy guy. He is the one who is ready to absolutely fuck you up no matter the ocassion. He is someone who is loudly and unapologetically himself and he'd even rub it in your face if anything.

But there are days when it's different.

I don't like seeing him like that. It feels wrong to even look at him.

I never specifically asked what is up with him, but I honestly don't even need to. It's pretty obvious.

He's chronically ill.

From time to time, usually like once or twice a month, sometimes more, his skin goes pale, his lips get crusty, his eyes lose their spark and all the energy leaves his body.

His health is declining.

I watched as his fingers ghosted over the bass strings. He was barely even able to play the god damn instrument.

My eyes flicked up, I looked at his face.

"Will you be able to play tomorrow?" I asked him while packing up my stuff. It was late and another band had the rehearsal room booked after us.

His eyebrows pinched together. "Why wouldn't I be?" He mumbled, unbothered to return the eye contact.

I wanted to reply, but I couldn't bring myself to it. It seemed really evil to remind him of his condition for some reason. So instead I just took a deep breath.

"'Cuz you look a hot mess, that's why."

"MiA." I sternly alerted him.

"I mean we're all thinking it. I'm not gonna sit around and constantly walk on eggshells all the time. The awkward silence is even more insulting than expressing actual concern, you dickhead."

A loud bang of the bass was heard, making us both turn our heads.

"You know what?" His voice was irritated. "Fine, I'll go home and rest." He stood up. "I'll sit on my ass and will do absolute shit tomorrow and you can go and find another bassist that will jump in at the last minute."

"Well what do you want us to say when you look like a corpse?" MiA tried to fight back as he watched Koichi pack his bass guitar up. "Are we supposed to act like nothing's going on when you black out on stage?"

"When have I ever blacked out in front of any of you?" He whipped his head to look at MiA, his dull hair flying around.

Our drummer quietly turned his head at me, his eyes seeking help in my gaze, which I cautiously returned.

"Just because you didn't doesn't mean you won't."

Koichi bit down on his lip, munching off a particle of dead skin.

"And I don't get why you're acting so insulted."

He squinted his eyes at him before shaking his head in disappointment.

Silently, I did agree with MiA on this. I also couldn't quite grasp why he was so irritable when it came to this. It's like one wrong word about his condition always sent him spiraling. Was he ashamed? But either way, I didn't find it empathetic to try to go against him. In my opinion, the least we can do is to make him feel calm, treat him normally, like our buddy. Or not?

Koichi averted his gaze and zipped up his bag. He stood up and as he swung the bass case over his shoulder, his knees buckled under the weight of the instrument.

"Woah!" I yelped, ready to go and help him, but he quickly regained his posture and only silently attacked me with his eyes. It was as if he was warning me - one step closer and you're dead.

I defensively put my arms up and remained silent.

And just like that, without a single word, he stormed out.

My arms plopped down, looking at the door that just got slammed shut. I bit the inside of my cheek and bent down to quickly grab my stuff.

"You really showed yourself today, didn't you?" I shake my head at MiA in disbelief. He usually doesn't act like this. Most of the time, apart from tiny snarky remarks, he keeps stuff to himself. Well, I hear about all the complaints and such from third parties snitching on him, but he doesn't usually take it out on us. I think he probably has a lot to say, but doesn't have the balls to actually say it to any of our faces. Maybe today he snapped. Years of these constant loops have got the nerves of the quietest guy too.