What Wrong Did I Do

what did i do

What wrong did I do?

Was falling in love a crime?

Someone tell me, do I deserve to be punished just because I fell in love with a boy who played with my feelings?

All I ever did was love you. I never loved anyone the way I loved you. But what did you do? You broke my heart into pieces. I bet I should have listened to Grandma Linda when she said, "All these teenage boys care about is themselves."

I read a lot of books-romance, poetry, and stories filled with life lessons. But I guess I never learned mine. I should have taken the advice from that book when it said, "Men can handle relationships, but little boys can't." I guess I fell in love with a little boy.

If you didn't want me, you should have walked away the moment you had the chance. But no, you chose to stay and lie to my face every single day. I trusted you. I came to you with both tears and smiles.
You chose her over me. What did she have that I didn't? I asked myself every day. Was it because she was skinny, popular, and had those pretty blue eyes? Was it because she was white and her future seemed so certain? Is that why you preferred her over me? I spent years asking myself those questions.
She didn't even love you the way I did. Yet you still chose to close the door on me.

What crime did I commit?

All I did was love you. All I did was allow my heart to feel more than it could bear. But you went ahead and played with my feelings. You didn't just break my heart-you broke my confidence. And now, whenever I see another girl, I compare myself to her.
I stayed up the whole night, thinking and wondering what I should change to meet your standards. But I just couldn't figure it out.
It has been years now.

And suddenly, you're calling me, asking to meet up.
Are you serious? Is this some kind of game to you? We're talking about my feelings. Mine. Do you really think coming back into town and calling me will change everything?
No, I never forgave you. But I moved on... or at least I told myself I did. And I was okay until I saw your car in town. The same car you named after me. The same car we ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner in. The same car where you kissed my forehead and made all those silly promises.
Do you even stop to think about how I feel?
But I guess you don't.

What happened to the good guy I used to know? What happened to you? Did she change you that much?
I don't even recognize you anymore.
And worst of all...
I don't recognize myself.
How did I fall for someone like you?
You disgust me.
Go away.
It's over.