Give Me Love (Sergio Ramos/Marcelo Vieira)

Give Me Love (Sergio Ramos/Marcelo Vieira) #3

“Calleté I already told you she was nothing! Nothing at all!” I could see he was on the verge of tears but who was he to do that? He had no right he was the one who hurt me! I should be the one crying! I /was/ the one crying. “I'm sorry Addie, I'm so sorry.” He frowns and presses his forehead against mine. His tears slipped down his cheeks. I continue to try to wrench my hands away form him but his grip was too tight. “Please forgive me I don't want you to go.” His thumbs rubbed up and down my hands in attempt to soothe me. It was working. “I love you.” This wasn't how our relationship was supposed to be like! We were supposed to be happy together, we were supposed to own a house together! But no. Nothing went as it was planned. We were still in a condominium, we fought more than the first few months we were together and it's all because Ramos had to just kiss back.

“I can't Sergio I can't.” I shake my head from side to side, backing away from him. “We're only hurting ourselves.” My frown deepened as I stare into his crying figure. It broke my heart even more than ever. This beautiful man crying because of me. I broke him like he to me. “This is for the better.” I try to tell myself though I didn't want to go. Sergio reaches out for me but I slap his hand away. “Stop it.” I say over him mumbles of telling me I shouldn't. “No.” He continues to say how this would be a mistake. “We're a mistake!” I scream, fed up with it all. The look on his face… “I'm sorry. I shouldn't hav–”

Sergio's demeanor changes into something more dark. “So you regret going out with me? Why did you stick me with all those months then Adalinda!” He yells. He rambles on about how he loved me and gave me everything I have ever wanted. And I try to tell him I didn't mean it like that but in truth I did. I could feel him drifting away. He was in his own little world nowadays, one where I wasn't in it. “Did you stick this long just to see my break!” He accuses once again. My mind snaps at this point and I didn't even think about what had happened next. My hand made contact on his face. Right across it. The sound made me cringe when I heard it and I instantly felt regret at the decision. He curses at me under his breath, while his hand covered the red I see forming. “Well fuck you then Adalinda!” Sergio screams at me before he turned his back to me. I felt new tears welling up in my eyes again. I didn't mean that. I never wanted anything like that to happen between us! I reach for his arm and it took alp the power I had left to turn him around and crash my lips against his. He fought back, pushed me away, but I just kissed him again. I needed to make things right again.

~•~

I blamed Ramos.

I blamed his scruffy facial hair.

I blamed his deep, kind, brown eyes.

I blamed the way his lips would curve to a smile.

I blamed how my heart always skipped a beat with one look.

I blamed him on how my heart still skips at beat at the thought of him.

I blamed him for doing this to me and to Canales but in reality it's my fault.

I should take the blame for everything that has happened to me in the past year or two. It was because of me being so naïve, being /so/ in denial that I wasn't with the right man right now. I was laying naked in bed with a guy I wasn't even sure about since the first day. God how could I have been so /stupid/? The sex nonetheless was different. It wasn't loving anymore, it wasn't warm or intimate. It was nothing. Just complete emptiness and soft grunting. When he was done with me, he was finished completely. I could tell that after tonight he wasn't going to object my leaving him. I felt ashamed with myself for having to go with such measures in order to get him to shut up. But Sergio was being so stupid! If he would have just let me leave I would have been back to Madrid crashing in Cosette and Marcelo's place until I found a place of my own!