More Than A Woman » Zarry ✔

nineteen

"Ignore what?"

She wiped her eyes with her fingers and exhaled quietly as she faced him again. "Tell me the truth and I mean the whole truth. You liked me as more than friends even before I was ever Veronica, didn't you?

He turned away from her, not wanting to look her in the eyes. "I... I uhm. Well I-"

"And is it true that the real reason you don't like Perrie is because she was with me? Not solely because she didn't make me happy."

He didn't answer.

"Harry, look at me and tell me the truth. I want to know." Her voice was stern so he knew she was serious.

"Yeah." He croaked out and she made a noise that sounded like one of frustration. She was starting to cry again.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me you liked me?"

"I-- I couldn't. I was too afraid to." He said immediately. "You were with her which meant me, who is a guy, would have been the last thing on your mind in that way and I didn't know how you would feel. I didn't want to lose you as a friend."

"So you would rather suffer instead? Harry, I... I introduced you to girls. And you... You even slept with a couple of them."

"Yeah. I know. But I only did it because of you. I wanted you more than them but I also wanted you to be proud of me too. You were the one who picked them, so I did it. You'll think it's weird if I tell you why so... So I can't..."

She put her hand over her mouth and gasped out a sequence of words he didn't think she would even think to say. "You were thinking of me when you were with them."

He looked at her frantically and that's when she knew she was right. Whenever Harry slept with a girl that Zayn introduced him to, he was thinking of Zayn the whole time he was with her. How could he not know that? How could he not see that Harry was only doing it for him?

"Zayn, I'm... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He pleaded. "And I feel sorry for the girls too but I can't change the truth. I only started having thoughts like that a year before you and Perrie started to date. I hadn't always had those feelings toward you. When we first met, you were just a friend and I liked girls. And don't get me confused, I still like women a lot now. I just... There was something about you that attracted me and for me, you were an exception to women. You have to believe me."

Now Zayn was silently letting more tears fall again and Harry's eyes even watered just by looking at hers. This was exactly why he was keeping his mouth shut about how he felt. He knew it would mess things up between them. He just had to blurt out all those things yesterday, didn't he?

"You must hate me then. I know it." She murmured.

"No." He replied with a shake of his head. "You're my best friend. How could I hate you when I don't have a reason to?"

"Yes you do. There's plenty. I'm so selfish. I never noticed you all the time you liked me because I was obviously only worried about myself. Then I did something so stupid and got myself turned into a female and now I don't even enjoy the same things you and I used to enjoy, like football and stuff, because she tampered with my personality. I know you hate me for that because I hate myself for it."

He reached for her hand very cautiously and when she didn't pull away, he squeezed it. "I don't care about not being able to do all that stuff with you. This is way better than playing some sport because now I have you as my girlfriend. And I like that a whole lot more than hitting you just because you have a football in your hand."

She nervously chewed her lip. "That's... That's actually sweet. But I need to tell you something."

"What?"