My own small diary

June 30, 2026

I nearly forgot about this diary, well reading back on it reminds me of how far I've come. I've healed, Im happy now. I found friends who care as much as I care about them, atleast I think? But if you asked what I truly think about my life at the moment.. I'd say, it's boring.

So utterly boring that all I can do is laugh, shouldn't I be grateful that I'm "better" now? Actually, I don't think any of my mental struggles completely disappeared. I just found distractions and dulled them down to a manageable level. I feel so out of place it's driving me insane, I watch my group of friends play together. I feel as if they value everyone but me, I've screwed up so much of my relationships to the point I have no one left. I've ignored people, abandoned others, played with their hearts, and became insensitive to their feelings. I just want to scream, I just stay around in my room and be a lazy fuck. Genuinely what is wrong with me?

I'm tired, and I can't voice out my feelings as much as I could before, and it's not like my life matters to you anyway. Dont think of me as a bad person due to my description of the things I've done, I've been doing much better, and I actually have some self respect, and reflecting on what I've done. Its just that my mental struggles come in the way of my development. This is only a fragment of how I feel now.

oh I also got into typology, my type is so/sp 4(w3)96 moh[I]DEg