In Night City, you can be anything, or so it's said. Everyone has a role. Either you're on top, or you're in the sewers; there's no in between. The only ones that get loopholes are the rich and those with street cred. To those who want to become assassins for the corporate elite, there's a strict program you have to go through. From birth, you get a mentor who trains you in all the basics. Combat, aerobics, tools, etc. Once you hit eighteen, you have a final test to pass, and then you are official.
"Right this way, candidates."
My mentor, Briar, and I, along with five other candidates, walked off the elevator to a ballroom. Our feet tapping over the wood.
"What is this?"
"We don't know."
The mentors suddenly separated from us and formed a line, Briar last squeezing my shoulder before assuming his position. My eyes narrowed since all of this seemed rather odd. I don't like odd. An intercom squeaked on before announcing the instructions.
"To pass your final test, you must willingly kill your mentor. You have one hour."
My eyes widened, looking over at Briar, who didn't flinch, meaning every mentor knew this was coming.
"No! What sort of sick joke is this?!"
"They're bluffing. They're obviously bluffing-"
"When have they ever bluffed in their life?"
As everyone started bickering, my shaky pupils went in every direction. Counting the exits and maybe the ventilation to climb through, but everything was sealed off, including the doors we came through. Scratching my nose, my hands fiddled over themselves on what to do. We can't escape, but I can't kill Briar, he's my father for Christ's sake-
"Solace-"
"NO! No..."
"Look at me-"
"Fuck YOU! You knew this whole time, didn't you? Didn't you?!"
"Would it matter?-"
"It matters to ME! YOU matter to ME!"
Pacing back and forth, all other candidates, minus two, were completely distraught. Eventually, one of the glib ones spoke up.
"What's the big deal? It's not like they're real. They're just a job-"
"Just a job? This is my family we're talking about-"
"Bitch, please. The only family you ever had od'ed in the back of a Chinese food shop, there's not much to go back to."
I figured a fight would break out, and amidst the chaos, I ran over to Briar, grabbing his wrist.
"Let's go."
Briar stood his ground, gripping my wrist hard and giving me this look.
"What the fuck are you doing?! Don't you get it? You're going to die. You'll be gone permanently, and I refuse to stand here and let it happen-"
The look only increased in intensity, and after a moment, I realized something.
"...There you go, pup."
"As if my life is any more important than yours-"
"What is she talking about?"
Eventually, another mentor confirmed my suspicion and informed the rest of the candidates who were paying attention.
"It's either us or everyone dies. Everything we've done will be for nothing. We're down to ten minutes."
Swallowing harshly, Briar loosened his grip, and I ripped my hand away, scratching at the vein in my wrist. I was gasping, trying to get air into my tightening lungs. Once I was able to, Briar handed me the custom pistol he made for me, and now I'm realizing why. Graffiti paint and all on it is such a childish, playful way, the one thing in my life I could have for myself, and now it's going to be used to kill the only family I ever had.
"You can do it, pup. Line yourself up."
Abruptly, it felt like it was just the two of us. I returned to my position, the outside world warping in on itself, going completely fish-eye as tears started to stream down my face.
"Good. Check for safety."
Clicking the safety nob off my hand started trembling.
"..Dad, I..."
He winced hearing me say that for the first time, especially in this context.
"I know."
Briar replied, standing tall as I added my other hand to steady my stance. I slid my back foot back, taking deep breaths to align my sway.
Exhales
Pow
Thud
"Candidate number four, pass. Five minutes remaining."
Wobbling over to Briar's corpse, it was still warm, as I aligned his hands, interlacing them softly. Feeling sobs well up, but not yet. Standing back up, I panted, walking towards the creaking door now opening for me, and I walked through. It took me to something like a makeshift motel room. A woman was there fiddling with a syringe, flicking it to check for air bubbles.
"You have the choice now to keep your emotions or completely remove them. What is your answer?"
"Take it. Take them all..."
"Understood. Sit on the bed."
I sat down on the edge of the bed, clutching the pistol, just realizing Briar's blood was on my fingertips and inked into my clothes. The woman pinched the needle in my arm and pushed the sky blue tonic into my system. Afterwards, she took a step back, removing herself completely from my view, and by that point, I couldn't hold on anymore.
WAILS
Letting it all out, I screamed over and over and over and over again. Twisting then pulling out a chunk of my hair with stinging tears and snot rolling down my neck until suddenly...
Bump Bump
A numbness started to crawl over me, to the point I started smiling. Loose tears drying up in real time.
Bump...
Eventually, my smile dropped too, and for an entire two seconds, I couldn't feel or see anything at all. Then...
Inhales
Bump Bump
I don't remember much after that. I woke up in my apartment three days later with my first assignment.
****
Eight years later, it's more of the same. Same thugs and crooks to kill, same corporate greed feeding off the poverty. Arasaka has become my company of choice after outsourcing a few times. They're all pricks, but considering I can't be baited by emotion, morality has never been an issue.
