I Barely Survived: My Story of Love and Violence by Tracy Shelton

Chapter 8: The Book Of James

Chapter 8

  The next day, I called my sister to come and get Jade.  I was going to look for a job and do a

few things. My sister came to the apartment to get Jade. She brought her to town with her to

spend the night. James stayed at the apartment and slept. I got a job as a telemarketer

working from 3pm to 9pm. I started work in a couple of days. Also; I got the utilities switched

over into my name. I  applied for day care assistance and food stamps and I ordered a home

phone that was scheduled to be installed the next day.

  I wasn’t ashamed to receive assistance from the state. I needed help. It is not easy to start

over in life. . I was proud of myself for taking care of everything. I thought I was doing what

was best for Jade and I.

  The next day, I went to town to get Jade from my sister’s house. I missed her so much. James

rode to town with me to pick her up. Jade was very happy to see me when I got there. After

we left my sister’s house James asked me if I would buy him some pain pills from my friends in

the country. The same friends that we did Meth me a few days earlier. I didn’t have much

money left and I didn’t know how I was going to make it until I got paid. I wanted to make him

happy though. I wanted him to love me, so I bought him some.

When we got back to the city I pawned a lot of my stuff for more money.

  I asked James If he would watch Jade for me when I went to work. He was going to when I got

a job in town before we moved. He didn’t have any plans. He didn’t have anything to do. I was

working to support him as well, but he didn’t want to watch Jade. He was already starting to change .

Now, I had to find a babysitter.

  I found a lady that watched children out of her home. I didn’t really trust strangers and Jade

had never been alone with strangers  but I didn’t have much of a choice. She was also willing

to wait to get paid until I got paid.

  Jade’s first night there was a horrible experience. When I picked her up, the lady told me that

she cried for me. She said that jade was too old for a bottle and that she had thrown Jade’s

bottle away. Poor Jade. She was traumatized when I picked her up. She had never been

alone with strangers. She was frightened and she missed me.. I was outraged and I knew that I

couldn’t bring her back there. I called my sister and told her the situation. I asked her If she

would come and get Jade tomorrow until I could figure something else out.

  The next day, my sister came and got Jade. I missed her. It only took a few days for the day

care assistance to go through. I enrolled Jade immediately into the daycare that was behind

the apartment complex and I went and got Jade.

Finally, things were falling into place.

James still  stayed at home . Doing nothing.

 
Brandon and his mom asked me if they could see Jade. I Let her go to town to spend a few days

with them. Then, Brandon’s mom called me. She said that she was going to bring Jade home.

She told me that in the middle of the night that Brandon had stolen $500 from her and his dad

and that he had taken a taxi to the city. Brandon called them saying that he got a small

apartment and that someone at the apartment had robbed him. He wanted their help

financially. She gave me the address and asked me if I would go talk to him and try to convince

him to check himself into rehab.  She wanted me to tell him that if he did they would help him.

  After I hung up with her I told James what was going on. He didn’t say much. Then Brandon

called. He wanted my help. He said he was sorry about leaving Jade. I told him his mom called me and that Jade was on her way home.

He also told me that he  had been robbed and that they had assaulted him.

He was hurt. He said  he was out of money and that he was hungry.

I told him what his mom had said about rehab but he didn’t want to go. He wanted me to bring

Jade over later and bring him some groceries. I did.

  When I got there it did not look like a safe place. Brandon was upset. He said that the people

who had assaulted him and robbed him had killed a cat and left it on his balcony. He showed

me the cat. They had killed the poor thing and left it to rot. I talked to him again about rehab. 

He agreed to go this time. He wanted his parents help.  I told him that I had to go home now.

That I needed to leave for work soon. I left.

  When I got back to the apartment, James had different plans for me though. He wanted me

to go to the doctor and get him some pain pills. He said he would watch Jade while I went. I

thought to myself (He couldn’t watch her so I could work but he could watch her so I could get

him some drugs.) I was starting to catch on but I went anyways. I still wanted his approval and

his love.

I almost got arrested.