Love from afar

Rivalry

The next few days went by with just the usual mundane school lifestyle. School was boring without being able to see Fir. He went for the leadership training camp (LTC) and wont be back till 3 days later. 3 days. It felt like 3 years to me. My friends all thought how silly I was to be depressed about not being able to see Fir in school for JUST 3 days (they had to emphasize how short it was when obviously it wasn't for me). I didn't thought I would feel this way too. How is it possible that he stole my heart since our first meeting?

Finally there was an update on his Instagram on day 2 of LTC. He posted a group photo and as I scrutinized to see who were in his group, I spotted Meng. I laughed to myself. Is the same shit that happened in primary school going to happen once again? Meng used to be in the same primary school as I was. She is a lively girl who had both the brain and beauty. Yes. She was the ideal kind of girl that everyone wishes to be. Though she appears boyish at times, her charm is undeniable. The guy that I used to have a crush on liked her. I was disheartened at that time but soon got over it. When I met her in NYJC again, I had long put aside this past painful love. However, to think that the past is coming back to haunt me again, I feared.

That night, I thought back about how I had watched my crush from afar confessed his love to Meng. Although he was rejected, it didn't help to think that the boy I loved didn't love me back but another girl who was so much cuter than I am. My fear was reconfirmed the next day. Another Instagram update by Fir. This time it was a picture with just him and Meng. His caption stated "Fun time spent kayaking today with her :)". My heart shattered at that very moment. Thoughts flashed across my mind. What did that mean? Does he have an interest on her? How close are they now? Why did he even post a shot of him and her??? The questions and worries were endless. Now that I think back, the other day after PE lesson, I felt that he kept glancing at my direction. I thought that he was taking interest in me but was it in fact Meng?! This cant be happening. This must be a nightmare. Please let me wake up from this nightmare. Please.