Smile On His Lips and Cuts On His Hips (Jalex)

Twenty Two - Shitty Dream

I made it through finals with three hours of sleep a night, extensive math tutoring from Alex, approximately seventeen bottles of Sprite, and pop-punk Christmas music constantly supplying a soundtrack for my studying. I sacrificed a bit of my sanity and a couple inches of previously unflawed skin on my hips for the passing grades I was hoping to receive, spending my limited free time wondering why school was valued above mental health and desperately waiting for the Wednesday that Winter Break started, trying not to get sidetracked by the unnecessary amount of D’s in that weekday word, and then chuckling at the sexual implications of those thoughts. I was pathetically ashamed of who I’d become.

School let out early on the day before our vacation started, advisory simply cut from the classes so we could bolt for the door when lunch usually began at 12:20. I spent the last period of the week, art, half watching the episode of Wallace and Grommet our teacher was projecting in order to entertain us and partially joking around with Rian, Brendon, and Jon in the back of the room, periodically joined by Alex as he wandered from table to table.

Wallace was falling into his pants on the board when I caught Brendon giving me a weird look from across the table, lifting my chin from where it had been resting on my fist to turn my gaze towards him. I met his eyes and raised a questioning eyebrow as Brendon frowned with a contemplative expression, asking, “So are you and Alex, like, going out?”

This was a fair question, considering that, approximately five minutes earlier, Alex had been perched on the wobbling stool next to me, threatening to lick my ear as he played with my two tone hair and teased me about the distaste for coffee he knew I had after our coffee shop date a couple weeks ago, during which I went through two steaming cups of whipped cream drowned peppermint hot chocolate. I supposed that we might have appeared a little conspicuous as I unconsciously leaned into him, the brunette boy rubbing his fingers along my denim covered knee under the table and giggling against my shoulder, hair tickling my neck while we blatantly flirted.

Despite this, I did not have an actual answer to that question, since I was completely clueless as to how this whole ‘dating’ thing worked. Apparently, it came naturally to some people, and everything was easy and simple for them, but not me. I had yet to initiate a kiss with Alex, even though there had been about fifteen study sessions and after school outings in which I really, really wanted to, and almost had a heart attack every time he got within five inches of me. Even though I enjoyed being around Alex and definitely really liked him, in a very non-platonic way, I was horribly unable to act like a normal teenager and do whatever romantic bullcrap they usually did, because I was terribly awkward, uncomfortable with myself, and still hopelessly confused as to why the honey haired boy was interested in me at all.

The only part of this elbarote, baffling social systrem that I was half decent at was flirting. This was only because I was constantly making stupid jokes, and it wasn’t too much of a stretch for those idiotic cracks to turn into suggestive teases. And even though my constant sexual digs and silly compliments around Alex definitely encouraged it, I couldn’t help but be shocked when I found myself pressed against my bedroom door the day before with Alex’s hands on my neck and lips against my mouth when we were supposed to be reviewing for our science final.

Coming to the quick conclusion that I did not have an answer to Brendon’s abrupt question, I glanced around the room, searching out that familiar brown head of hair. I spotted Alex one table over, deciding that there was enough excited chatter filling the air to prevent anybody from noticing my yelling and calling out, “Hey, Alex!”

He turned around, breaking from a conversation with some guy who I was pretty sure was also named Alex, throwing me a beaming grin and cheerfuly responding, “Yeah?”