Finding Home With You

Chapter 2

She had been through this before. Seeing Hook without him seeing her.

This was different than last time, though. Last time, she was distracting the infamous Captain Hook, all the time knowing her Hook was with her, waiting for her, plotting with her to get back home.

He hadn't been her Hook then, though. That didn't come until later. After the portal back home, the simple "Aye" that meant so much more than words could express, the kiss that attempted to express what words couldn't, the Ice Queen that tried to take him from her.

Looking back, Emma supposes she hadn't really realized just how completely he was hers until mere days before he was taken from her again by the Author's new story. She spent so long trying to convince herself she didn't need to belong to anyone that she failed to see the truth. Killian belonged to her just as much as she did to him. He continuously showed her just how much control she had over him, that he was willing to go as slow as she wanted as long as they were together and that he couldn't fathom being anywhere else but with her in Storybrooke. And it may have taken her a while to realize it, thanks to her stubborn streak, but she now knew just how much she desperately needed and wanted him to be hers.

Of course, she barely had time to revel in her acceptance of their relationship before he was ripped from her once again.

But she was determined to get him back. The real Killian. Her Killian.

For now, she could appreciate this Killian. This Killian was similar to her Killian, much more than Captain Hook had been. Captain Hook had been rough, lost in the darkness, incapable of love or any other emotion besides hate and lust.

This Killian was softer, capable of emotion which shone in his eyes whenever she met his cerulean blue gaze. This Killian looked at her in such a similar way to her Killian; she saw the same adoration in his eyes. But she couldn't help but miss the love she had grown used to in her Killian's devoted gaze; even though it had taken most of the time he had known her for her to get over being scared of such devotion.

This Killian had an innocence to him that called her to him. It seemed to her that this was her Killian with all his walls torn down. Without the smirk and the innuendos to hide behind.

But he also lacked her Killian's confidence and self pride, and that cut at her heart. To see the man she loved at such a low point was difficult to swallow. Sure, she was going back to her own Killian and this Killian with his insecurities would never exist except as a faint memory, when they succeeded at their task. But it was still hard to see. So as long as she was here, she was determined to help him gain back his gusto.

Plus, she couldn't stay away from that man even if she wanted to. Which she certainly didn't. A part of her felt guilty for teasing her Killian about Hook's predictable preference to her when they had been stuck in the past. She understood the draw now, since she'd given in to her feelings and her let walls down, or most of them anyway.

She marches up the stairs, pushing away the thoughts of her Killian.

She can't describe just how beyond thankful she is for the change in wardrobe. After going below deck to find a few swords, she had searched high and low for a pair of freaking pants to wear. She'd done the whole trudge through the forest in a giant gown before, and she was not looking forward to doing it again. So instead she found a rather perfect fitting outfit and some boots. Her tangled hair had been pulled up in the ponytail that had once been her signature look, before Neal had stolen her innocence, in every sense of the phrase.

But there's no time to dwell on the past. She needs to focus if she's going to get herself and her kid home.

Stepping out into the sunlight, her eyes are immediately drawn to him. And her heart aches because for a moment it's almost like he's her Killian. He stands tall, cutting an impressive figure behind the wheel, hand and hook gently guiding the ship this way or that.