A Father's Legacy

Two - Secrets

Love,

Dadi

I let the paper fall to my desk, eyes blurring the familiar shapes outlined by the faint moonlight streaming in through the window. I rest my head in my hands and breathe in deeply, fighting against the urge to cry.

Crying wasn't going to bring my father back, or even locate his files. Yet the pain was too raw for me to immediately think my plans through, so I sit for a moment and gather my quickly draining cache of energy.

The main thought on my mind now is the knowledge that it's very likely that Dad's killers could return at any time, so I pick up the letter, memorizing every jagged loop and sharp slant of Dad's writing. Only once I'm sure I know every line by heart, do I feed the letter to my paper shredder. Overly cautious, I put the shreds through again until even single letters are illegible, and then I empty the shredder into the wastebasket. I tie the bag, and set the remains under my desk- I'm too paranoid about murderers lurking outside in the darkness to take it out front at this hour.

Before I turn off the light, I close the window, lock it, and then pull the curtains shut. Only once I'm satisfied the lock still works do I slip under the covers and close my eyes, welcoming the images of Dad that greet me as I slip into oblivion.

When I wake up the next morning, sunlight is dancing behind the curtains, the sun high in the sky telling me I've overslept.

The faint sound of sizzling, reminding me painfully of another morning not long ago urges me to get up.

I draw back the curtains and open the window a couple of inches to let fresh air in, before retrieving the bag from under my desk and making my way down to the main floor.

Mom and Marcus are sitting at the table, while Myranda scrambles eggs at the stove.

"I was beginning to wonder when you were waking up," Mom says as I pour myself a coffee. I gesture to the coffee pot in offering before answering, but Mom and Marcus both decline.

"I must have been more tired than I thought," I say, more than a little surprised to see it's already after two in the afternoon.

Myranda sets four plates at the table before joining us. "Well, it's about time you got up," she says, "There's something I've been meaning to run by everyone."

Mom looks from Myranda to Marcus, suspicion glinting in her grey eyes. "Are you two...?"

"Oh, no, not that, Mom," Myranda gasps. "I'm not pregnant, but Marcus and I have been talking, and we've decided to ask you - and Aeryn, once she's done high school - to come stay with us for awhile."

"But Myranda!" Mom exclaims, leaning forward. "I can't sell my house, and move, just like that!"

"We're not asking you to," Myranda says, her tone a lot more relaxed than Mom's. "We just think you need some time away from everything- and you haven't been up to visit us in awhile. You should see the deck Marc built last fall."

"I appreciate the thought, Myranda, but I just can't leave right now. Aeryn doesn't finish school until June, and I can't leave her here by herself."

"She won't be alone, though," Marcus interjects. "Last night at dinner, I was offered the opportunity to finish Myranda's father's semester. With your permission, I'd like to accept the offer. Plus, with me here, you can stay with Myranda for awhile and heal. I remember my mother's pain over Dad's death well."

Mom doesn't reply for a minute, and when she does, her voice is choked with emotion. " I appreciate the offer, I really do," she says brokenly, "and Marcus, you're more than welcome to stay, but I just don't know if leaving now would be the right thing to do. Can I think on it for awhile?"