IZZY'S POV
2nd day. 9:30ish
"What?"I'm still walking the neighborhood, trying to calm down.
"Hey." I'm trying my best not to cry, I hated to cry infront of people. Crying was ugly.
"Izzy, why did you do it?" We had walked about three houses down and we were sitting on a curb.
"I got scared. I'm scared of heartbreak." I admitted, still fighting back tears.
"Why? There's nothing to be scared of, you just made it worse by dumping him. He really likes you."
"I get that, and I really like him too, which is why I'm scared. I don't want him to break me. I'm fine with breaking him. I just don't want to be broken." I know it's horrible to say that I would rather break his heart, than have him break mine, but it's true. If he dumped me, it would end bad for him, and me. I would lock my emotions up, not let anyone see how bad it truly hurts, and just become an evil bitch towards him. He would be the one getting hurt, I would be broken, but not hurt. I don't know how to explain it, but when a guy dumps me, something snaps in me. I'm not the sweet,crazy, Izzy everyone knows. I become mean, I say things that are met to hurt the other, and I honestly don't regret it. I try to prove to them that I am better off without them, even if I am not.
"Why are you this way, what happened? What's your story?" Toby shot me with questions.
"My story?" I pause for a few seconds, just enough time to get my tears slowly flowing. "5th grade. I was young, and dumb, and I let myself fall.I worked hard to get this boy, I risked friendships, I ruined some, and I got him. I thought everything was going great, I claimed I loved him, but didn't dare tell him. Then day by day, he talked to me less, then he just stopped. I went to check my email one day, and I had one from him, I knew what it was going to say, yet when I opened it, I still couldn't believe it. After he dumped me, I tried to get him back, but eventually gave up. I cried for a year straight, and when I finnaly stopped chasing him, I just gave up. I vowed to myself, to never claim or say I love a guy again. He was my first heartbreak, and it sucked. I don't want to go through that again." By this time,the waterworks were flowing. My mascara was ruined, and my eyes were puffy. I hate reliving that moment. Every time I do, I feel a little more of my heart break.
"You can't let something that happened 5 years ago, determine what you do now." Toby put his arm around me, trying to keep me from shaking. I gasped for air, and let those words sink in.He was right, but so wrong. I could let it, I had the right to be scared.
"I guess youre right." I said in between gasps for air.
The silence between us, the stars shining, the cool summer air, the wind moon staring down on us, it made everything see, so romantic. I sat closer to Toby than I wanted to, my lips were barley a few inches from his. "No, I can't," I stand up, wanting to get away, before I did something I'd regret.
"Why not,? You're not with Riley anymore." The words, sink in,hitting me really hard.
"Yeah, you're right." I wasn't and there was no way, I could patch up the mess I made anyways. I faced these facts, and sat back down, on the curb.
"Are you happy I came to talk to you?" Toby asked, as I sat right next to him, with our knees touching.
"Yeah, I guess." I had this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. I took a quick glance at Toby, his hair was perfectly cut, perfectly straight, his teeth were aligned in a perfect line, and his eyes, they were giving me that feeling. That feeling were all you want to do, is tell that person everything, everything you are feeling. They looked so forgiving, they looked so understanding. And his lips, his lips were calling out my name, I could hear them. I had this sudden shock, and I knew I had to do it. I took one last glance at him, and he was already looking at me.
