my version of Creature Commandos

chapter 8: first day out of Bell Reve

Cade: why did he just do that?

Felicity: I think that's a way to show honor on his planet... Is it, Dek?

Dek: it is.

Cade: I'll clean up his... Neon green blood.

Dek: is this not a thing oomans do on this planet?

Felicity: first of all, it's pronounced, and second of all, no.

Dek: then how do you show honor?

Felicity: in other ways that don't hurt ourselves. Let's just sit down and clean the wound.

(Knock, knock)

Leela: me and Kai will get it.

Kai and Leela walk to the front door and open it just to see Leela's cousin Howard and his friend Randy.

Howard: hey, Lizzie.

Leela: (deadpan) if that's a lizard joke based on the way I look, please leave.

Howard: (sarcastic tone) well, sorry!

Kai: (deadpan) why are you two here?

Howard: you've been gone for 4 months. Can't I just see my cousin?

Leela: oh please! I've been related to you long enough to know that you, your sister Heidi, and your parents only come to felicity's house, specifically whenever any of you need money.

Kai: or a ride whenever you guys don't want to waste your guests but what a waste everybody else's gas.

Leela: so why are you two here?

Howard: uhh....

Randy: Howard accidentally told a bunch of kids at school that Felicity has an alien boyfriend.

Kai & Leela: WHAT!?!

Howard: it's true.

Kai: what does that have to do with this?

Howard: ....

Randy: okay, I'll say it. Because Debbie Kang found some old embarrassing photos of me and Howard. Photos she said she'd delete unless we give her some pictures of Felicity with her new alien boyfriend.

Howard: so can we come in?

Leela: NO!!!

Kai: we're not doing that to Felicity!

Howard: well, I don't want those photos of me getting out for everyone to see!

Then he started arguing with them as Randy started sneaking into the house.

(Back inside)

Felicity was tending to Dek's cut.

Felicity: do you do this all the time?

Dek used his makeshift translator to talk.

Dek: (electronic voice) many yautja do it.  To show honor and respect.

Felicity: really?

Then Randy ran into the room and took a picture of Dek and Felicity.

Randy: I got it!!

He yelled as he immediately ran out.

Felicity: what the fuck was that?

Then Cade walked into the room.

Cade: sweet flea, could you take your friends out of the house for awhile.  Your mother is coming for her alimony payments and I didn't tell her that you were back.