Quest Beyond The Throne

Introduction

I once watched an opera, which is actually my first. I'd never expect that I would relate so much that even their ending song lingers to me.

It'll be like...

Seven A.M., the usual morning lineup
Start on the chores and sweep 'til the floor's all clean
Polish and wax, do laundry, and mop and shine up
Sweep again, and by then it's like 7:15

I know.

This might sound like the start of some fairy tale, but it's just my life.

And so I read a book
Or maybe two or three
I'll add a few new paintings to my gallery
I'll play guitar and knit
And cook and basically
Just wonder when will my life begin?

I'm Sol-eil Asterin heir on the throne of Austere. Yeah, I know, it sounds fancy, but honestly? Sometimes it feels like a lot of pressure.

Austere kingdom is beautiful—lots of green parks, busy markets, rivers that sparkle.

What else...

Don't forget the tall buildings that give me neck pain.

But with all these beauty comes a ton of expectations.

Then after lunch, it's puzzles and darts and baking
Paper mache, a bit of ballet, and chess
Pottery and ventriloquy, candle making
Then I'll stretch, maybe sketch, take a climb
Sew a dress!

Being named one of the future rulers?

No thanks.

My older siblings, from my father's first marriage, are the ones everyone looks to.

They're confident and seem to have it all figured out.

And I'll reread the books
If I have time to spare
I'll paint the walls some more
I'm sure there's room somewhere
And then I'll brush and brush
And brush and brush my hair
Stuck in the same place I've always been

Meanwhile, I'm just trying to figure out how to blend in and not be the center of attention.

If I can stay out of the spotlight, so maybe people won't expect much from me.

And I'll keep wondering and wondering
And wondering and wondering
When will my life begin?

Everyone in our kingdom is super curious about our family.

They love to gossip and share stories about us, which can be fun but also a bit much.

Ang OA na minsan.

And it often feels like I'm just a character in their stories instead of a real person with my own dreams and goal.

Tomorrow night
The lights will appear
Just like they do on my birthday each year
What is it like
Out there where they glow?
Now that I'm older
Mother might just
Let me go

Being under so many watchful eyes gets exhausting.

What I really want is to be an ordinary.

Look at the world, so close and I'm halfway to it
Look at it all, so big, do I even dare?
Look at me, there at last, I just have to do it

A student who yearns knowledge and sees the world from different perspectives. I dream about wandering through the city markets like anyone else—trying those street food, laughing with some friends, and just living life without aaaaall the royal drama.

Roll my eyes there.

Just smell the grass, the dirt, just like I dreamed they'd be
Just feel that summer breeze, the way it's calling me
For like the first time ever, I'm completely free

But here I am, stuck in this princess role, and it sometimes feels like my life is already mapped out for me.

I could go running and racing and dancing and chasing
And leaping and bounding, hair flying, heart pounding
And splashing and reeling and finally feeling

I just can't shake the feeling that I'm missing out on something real.

You know.

We all know that feeling.

_____

to be continue,