The world exploded into sensation as my consciousness slammed into a solid form like a freight train made of pure "what the fuck." Everything hit me at once—the feeling of weight, the strange hollowness in my chest where organs should be, the weird way sound echoed through my skull cavity. It was like putting on VR goggles, except the goggles were an entire skeleton and I couldn't take them off.
"Holy shit," I gasped, and immediately freaked out because I could actually gasp. My voice came out as this deep, raspy whisper that sounded like someone gargling gravel mixed with intimidation. "I have a voice! I can breathe! Wait, do I actually need to breathe?"
"Technically no," Zevrik's voice echoed inside my skull like the world's most sarcastic conscience. "But your brain still thinks you do, so you'll probably keep doing it anyway. Congratulations on successfully materializing without exploding into bone confetti."
I tried to stand up and immediately ate dirt. Turns out, going from floating orb to six-foot-two skeleton is harder than video games make it look. My new clawed fingers scraped against rough stone as I pushed myself up, and I got my first real look at where I'd spawned.
"Oh, come on," I groaned, taking in my surroundings. I was in some kind of forest clearing, surrounded by trees that looked like they'd been designed by someone who thought regular trees weren't ominous enough. The bark was dark, almost black, and the leaves rustled in a way that suggested they were probably plotting something. Shafts of pale sunlight filtered through the canopy, creating those dramatic lighting effects that screamed "dangerous tutorial zone."
"Where the hell am I?" I asked, carefully getting to my feet. Walking felt weird—I could feel the ground through my boots, but everything seemed lighter than it should be. Like my bone density was set to "hollow bird bones" instead of "intimidating death lord."
"Whispering Pines Starter Forest," Zevrik said cheerfully. "It's where all the level 1 scrubs spawn. Congratulations, you're in the tutorial zone!"
"Tutorial zone?" I looked around nervously. The place looked about as welcoming as a horror movie set. "This doesn't look very tutorial-ish. Where are the friendly NPCs? The helpful signs? The safe areas?"
"Yeah, about that. This world doesn't really do hand-holding. The tutorial is more like 'figure it out or die trying.'"
A branch snapped somewhere in the underbrush.
"What was that?" I spun around, nearly losing my balance again. My crimson eye-glow swept across the trees, and I realized I could actually see through my empty eye sockets, which was both cool and deeply disturbing.
"Probably nothing dangerous," Zevrik said in the tone of voice that suggested it was definitely something dangerous. "Forest Rabbits are pretty common around here. They're basically the starter mobs."
"Rabbits?" I relaxed slightly. "Okay, I can handle rabbits. How dangerous can a rabbit be?"
The rabbit that hopped into the clearing was about the size of a house cat, brown and fluffy, with adorable floppy ears and big black eyes. It looked up at me curiously, twitching its little pink nose.
"Aww," I cooed, crouching down. "Look at the little guy! He's so—"
The rabbit opened its mouth, revealing a set of razor-sharp fangs that belonged in a shark documentary.
"WHAT THE FUCK!" I scrambled backward as the rabbit let out a chittering growl that sounded like a blender full of murder. "IT HAS TEETH! WHY DOES IT HAVE TEETH?!"
"Oh, right," Zevrik said casually. "Forgot to mention, Forest Rabbits are carnivorous. They mostly eat insects and small lizards, but they'll totally bite chunks out of you if you get too close."
YOU ARE READING
ERROR 404: Hero Not Found
FantasyAsh died as he lived-alone, broke, and mid-anime binge. Now he's respawned in a world that runs on stats, classes, and patch-note logic... except his "divine guide" is a foul-mouthed probationary god whose title card still reads God of Compost. Star...
