Then & Now

Chapter Twenty-Nine

LOGAN

I gaze down at Maisy sprawled out naked before me on my bed with her chocolate hair fanned out around her, and she looks like a fucking angel. I almost feel the need to stop and pinch myself just to make sure that this real and not just some screwed up fantasy I'm having that's gotten out of control. Because never in a million years did I think this would happen; I thought I'd forever lost my chance with Maisy Jacobs forever, yet here she is.

She not-so-subtly rolls her hips and I have to hold myself back from driving into her. My cock is throbbing and my skin is on fire and I'd like nothing more to plunge into her wetness and experience what I already know will be better than I could ever imagine. But I need to savor this moment. I want to take my time and bask in it.

Inhaling that same floral scent I remember, I taste the saltiness of Maisy's skin as my mouth works its way down her rib cage and over the side of her hip. Her body is a landscape of perfection, having become even more enticing than it was back when we were just kids. I want worship it, give it the attention it deserves, but it's so hard to hold back. Maisy lets out a small moan as my lips graze her inner thigh, and it reminds me so much of the noises she made that night in the playground that my heart clenches at the memory.

This girl has the potential to destroy me again. Everything that I worked so hard to piece back together after she left the first time is hanging by a precarious thread and I'm intent on yanking it despite all it'll end up costing me.

Her skin is milky white and probably the smoothest thing I've ever had the privilege of touching. I can't stop my hands from exploring every inch of it and am amazed at how easily she seems to respond to me. Maisy has always had her guard up, and the years have just added to her armor, but now... Now it's like it's chipping away.

I wish it could always be like this with her, but I'm not stupid enough to dupe myself into believing this is a beginning. Because it isn't a beginning; it's the end. Our timing's off again. 

I push the thought out of my head, not wanting the reality of what this really is burdening me as I settle my body down between her legs. She tenses for the slightest moment when I slide my tongue across her, but it doesn't take long before she unwinds around me and her hands curl up into my hair. She digs her nails into my scalp, incoherently mumbling my name and I want to hear her say it more.

I cup my hands around the back of her perfect round little ass and relish in the taste of her, a mixture of musk and sweetness, and that damn floral scent. She begins to drop her defenses and finally let me in when her hips start to rise up off the mattress, and when she says my name again, this time crying it out into the darkness as a breathless moan. It's about the fucking sexiest damn thing I've ever heard. Her lithe body starts to shudder so I continue what I'm doing until Maisy melts into a puddle of pleasure in my hands. Her head tilts back into the pillows and she closes her eyes as she comes down from the high.

"Open your eyes," I command, kissing my way up the small curve of her stomach and lifting my gaze. I need to see her and, more importantly, I need her to see me. I've just thrown myself back into the one thing, the one girl, who almost destroyed me, and I know how little it'd take for her to do it again. I'm setting myself up for disaster, but at least this time I'm prepared for it.

The sun has set and my bedroom gets dark, but moonlight floods through the uncovered windows and I watch her eyelashes flutter as she slowly blinks open her eyes. I stare up at her, getting lost for a second, and Maisy blushes like she's embarrassed. That flush I love seeing so much colors her cheeks as I kiss my way across her rib cage and up to the gentle slope of her breast. My nose trails up the rest of the way and my tongue darts out and flicks over her nipple making Maisy squirm underneath me and let out a small giggle. I find myself smiling against her skin just at the sound of it.

Her legs wrap around my waist and guide me towards a place I've wanted to be since I was fifteen. I lean over the side of the bed and fumble in the bedside table drawer, not wanting to miss my chance-- my one opportunity to correct a past mistake.

"I'm on the pill," she whispers as she delicately sinks her teeth into my chest. A shiver runs over my body and my toes curl. I have no reason to trust her; Maisy's done nothing to earn it, but for some reason I do. Or maybe I'm just too far gone to care. Without thinking of it any further, I thrust myself inside her and in perfect unison we both let out groans of relief. I have no control when it comes to this girl and it seems I never will.

She digs her heels into my ass and presses me closer and I'll I'm surrounded by is Maisy's sweet warmth. It feels so terrifyingly perfect that I almost panic. But then she whispers my name and my body instinctively thrusts deeper into her, erasing all other thoughts from my mind. Her fingers draw up my spine and it's like the last eight years never happened. It's as if Maisy never disappeared and my heart had never been broken.

I pull myself almost all the way out of her, indulging in the blissful torture that is Maisy-- a bittersweet pain I know too well, before dipping back for more. She clings onto me and kisses me with such intensity that I'm able to fool myself into believing that this might change things between us and suddenly want the kiss to last forever. It's a moronic thought. Maisy is picking up her car tomorrow and then she's going to disappear again, but she makes me self-destructive enough not to care.

She releases a raspy breath and then calls out to God. Maisy Jacobs bruised my ego eight years ago and now the narcissistic part of me somehow feels vindicated. There's been so much build up to this moment that it's almost impossible for me to hold out any longer, but at the same time I can't bring myself to let it end. I know what that'll mean.

I'll lose her again.

But right now are timing isn't off. Right now we're in synch, and that's enough to drive me on. I find her eyes and stare into them, picking up on the fear and apprehension that's always been in her, but there's hardness now, and that wasn't there before. This girl is gonna wreck me.

I'm weak when it comes to Maisy Jacobs.

And I always have been.

She bows her chest up against mine and I greedily scatter a series of kisses and bites across her collarbone and over her perfectly arched breast. When she pulls me impossibly deeper, her eyes close again and she lets out a soft moan. She bites down on her lip, like she's trying to stop herself, but her body betrays her and she spasms and clenches all around me. All I can focus on are her cherry lips as they pop open. If I could consume this girl, implode in this moment right here, I'd gladly do it, but instead I explode inside her. I release years of frustration, attraction, and longing in hopes that it'll all pour out of me and bed one with for good.

But as soon as I collapse onto her and inhale her damp skin, my body's already begging for more. I know it now. I've always known it.

There's no way I'm going to be able to give Maisy up again.