Splinters: Part One

Part One | 51

"Would Collie do it?"

I closed my eyes. "Yeah," my voice cracked. "She would definitely do it." I knew she would. Collie would act like it never happened. She has a habit and talent for doing that. "But I can't. I won't do that."

"I mean, it's her body, Brayden."

"It's my kid!"

Grady placed his hands on his knees. "I guess, you know, there's adoption, too."

I shook my head. "I can't do that either."

I thought about Brenden and his situation. I would never want my kid to think that I didn't want them. But I'm sixteen. I can't be a father.

"You don't have to, like, keep yourself away from them forever. You can have an open adoption."

I tried to breathe. Everything was too much. I know I don't know for sure, but I can feel it. I know there's something wrong. I knew that Collie and I shouldn't have had sex, especially unprotected.

"I'm so stupid," I mumbled, burying my face in my hands. "I knew we shouldn't have done it. I told her we shouldn't, but I couldn't help it."

"Is it weird?" Grady asked after a long moment of silence.

I sighed. "A little."

"Did you know what to do?"

He made me crack a smile. "When your hormones are going crazy like that, you don't need to know."

He let out a breathy laugh and so did I. But honestly, as girly as it sounds, I wish Collie and I waited for two reasons. One, we didn't do it because we were in love. We did it to save our relationship and it only made it worse. Two, Collie could be pregnant right now. And I don't want to be a dad at sixteen.

...

I thought about everything on the way home if Collie really was pregnant. I don't think she uses birth control. She's never told me at least. And I was too stupid to not ask. I should've asked. Or better yet, we shouldn't have even done it! It's both of our faults. We both got into this mess.

Of course, Collie might not even be pregnant. I kept trying to say that to myself, but my brain was always answered with: but what if she is?

I sighed. I get it now. Now I understand why my parents ended up the way they did with me. I know Melissa and Greg both love me, but I probably crossed the line this time. I probably ruined my chance of having a family. How could I have been so stupid!

School was right around the corner, and if Collie's pregnant now, that means she's pregnant in August, and if she lasts the full nine months... I counted. She'll still have the baby during school. Will Constance have her kicked out? I've never seen a girl pregnant at Constance. Where will Collie go? Barrington High?

I got so frustrated with my thoughts that I turned to reading Grendel which I inevitably finished. The butterflies in my stomach and the guilt in my heart was almost overwhelming. It was so much worse when we had dinner that night. Everyone thought I was just less talkative because of me and Collie on the break, but really, I was inwardly horrified of the fact that I could have made a human being and I will have no way at all to care for it without the Piersons' help.

I was the last to be finished with my food, causing Greg and Melissa to turn to me to talk to.

"So, Braydo, how was your run with Grady?" Greg asked.

"Pretty good," I nodded. "He runs about four miles every day now. He's faster than me."

"How inspirational," Melissa exclaimed. "I'm so glad he's exercising now. I betcha he has a lot more confidence now than when he did last year."