corporate affairs [Niall Horan AU]

T W E N T Y S I X

"Nobody could hate you, babe." Zayn cooed, wiping a smudge of chocolate off my chin. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, protecting me from the passing by people. I nuzzled into his warm chest, seeking the comfort I knew so well. New York was not my home yet, but Zayn was. His arms were my walls and his heart was the anchor. 

"I think I'm not the right person for the job. Maybe I should quit." 

"What about wanting to be CEO and all that?" 

I watched our feet glide over the ground, thinking long and hard about all the hopes and dreams I had. I wanted to be powerful, to be someone. After a while I looked back up at him, blinking in the blinding sun. "Do you think I can actually be someone like that, Zayn?" 

"You already are someone like that, Elouise."

***

Nick wants to go to the park, so I let him off the leash and into the part for the dogs, watching from the sidelines. Down the slope of the hill, a green pond glitters idyllically in the sun, its surface like glass. Nick happily chases other dogs, his high-pitched yap cheerfully echoing across the park. Eventually I sit down, taking in one last late-afternoon in Central Park. It's strange how easily the noise shifts to the background and my mind dreams hazily of the days Niall and I walked around together, first under the pretense of being a couple, and then as an actual couple. 

I remember. It hurts, but it also feels good, like breathing heavily after running for a while. His hair used to shine with flecks of cold. The sea in his eyes would roll in and out in time with his voice, the blue changing hues every so often. Most of the time we would talk about stupid stuff, trivial matters that didn't really mean anything, but helped take our minds off what did. It was mostly about our interests and our lives, except for the day towards the end. 

I chew on my bottom lip, watching Nick dart across the park, a fat corgi chasing after him. The conversation repeats in my head, the way it'd been so telling and heart-wrenching, now that I know the outcome of everything. 

***

After a while, I whistle for Nick and we head towards Fred's, the sky darkening into a bruise across the atmosphere. We take the long way, taking the long, restless streets of the financial district. It's weird to be back here but not part of the bustle. I remember the quick strides and the negotiations on the phone as I tried to balance a double macchiato and a Blackberry in my hand. The kids who pass me by are glimpses of my past life, their faces echoing the same face I used to wear. I watch them in admiration and pity, remembering the days I used to work my ass off for a two-star review. The girls' heels clack with power and the boys' voices boom ambition. I want to reach out to them, to applaud them, because nobody else is. 

Instead, I turn down a quieter street, looking for a building I'd recently avoided as if my life depended on it. The bold letters down the side jump out at me like before, the proud 'H' looking down on the city that worships it. Scared little interns holding files under their arms file into the building, and I wonder which one is assigned to Niall. I stand a little ways away, remembering that first day, my babbling and my dreams. 

"Miss Watson," a familiar voice says from behind me. 

I turn, furrowing my eyebrows. When I recognize the older man, I smile brightly. "Hello, Ron." It's Niall's personal driver and second assistant. Ron manages anything I don't--didn't. I reach my arms out to him, embracing him for a minute. He's the closest I have gotten to Niall in weeks and I can feel the relief and timidity stirring in my bones as I release him. "It's good to see you. I'm afraid you caught me spying."

"You're always welcome to spy. I won't tell anybody. In fact, it's good to see a kind face around these parts." 

"Not many left?" I ask, puzzled. I would've thought that Gillian was at least kind to souls like Ron, who beam pleasantness and gentleness with every word.