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Chapter TWENTY

I give him a half grin. "I'm a waitress right now. Trying to figure out what's next. My boyfriend helped me fill out some financial aid papers for school last night. And I've been kind of trying to get on at this greenhouse a couple of blocks away."

"You like growing things?"

"Oh, yeah. Let me show you! How can I do what you did with the camera?"

He tells me, and when the camera is reversed, I carry the iPad through the kitchen. "I wish you could smell it in here," I say. "Electra's brownies are amazing." I head into the back yard and pan over the garden and my little house, sitting against the alley. "This is Electra's garden, and I help her with it. The corn is mine, and I've eaten almost every single pea out here."

"It's beautiful, Jess. Lush."

"But that's not the main thing I want to show you. Come on." I keep walking. "This is so cool! I can't believe I'm talking to you in New Zealand!"

"I'm just glad to talk to you after so long."

I think about asking him why we never talked, but for now I want to show him the house. "Okay, so this is my house. It's tiny, but it's mine. These are the flowers I'm growing. Ordinary, right? But this is my first time." I go up the steps to my house, open the screen door and go inside. "This is the inside. But these-" I pan the camera over the shelves of plants in front of the lace curtains. "-these are some of my plants." I get a close up of the Rex begonia, the leaves swirling in extravagant patterns. "This is my Rex. Super proud of it." I carry the iPad into the kitchen, show him the African violets on the windowsill. "These, too. Grew them from one leaf each."

"You have a green thumb, like your dad. And look at your place. It's like a cabin, isn't it? Like a lake house."

I spin the camera around. "Yes! That's exactly what I love about it." I look at the walls and shrug. "It's also really cheap."

He's sitting down again, and I sit down, too, feeling a little shy but drinking in his face. "I didn't think you would look so familiar to me." I press my hand to my chest. "It makes my heart hurt a little bit."

He nods, his face serious. "Mine, too." He clears his throat. "How's your mom?"

I'm completely still. Of course he doesn't know. I try to figure out how to say it, but he figures it out by my face.

"She's gone?"

I nod. "She died almost five years ago in an accident."

"Oh, Jess. Oh, I'm so sorry. Did you not know how to get in touch with me? You could have come-"

"I have a stepdad. Henry. We were okay."

"Henry, sure. I remember Henry." It's my dad's turn to be flustered. "A good man. An artist or something."

I smile. "Sculptor."

For a minute then we're both quiet. I can't keep looking at his face, and he looks away, then back. I have a million questions, but I don't want dark stuff to interfere with this, because this feels good. "Do you have any kids?"

He shakes his head. "Only you. I'm married, though."

"I saw her picture on Facebook. She looks really nice."

"She is. You'd like her. She'd like to meet you, you know. I've talked about you practically every day since we met."

I draw my eyebrows down. "So why didn't we talk?" It just comes out.

He looks stricken. "Your mum never told you?"

"Told me what?"

He glances away, his lips pursing, and suddenly I'm very small, looking up, reaching for him. He turns back, gives me a faint smile. "It's complicated, Jess. Your mom had-" He clears his throat. "She had some things going on. She asked me not to call. I respected her wishes."