Shenanigans

2.0

I'm going to tell you a secret. I have an ability, no, more like a curse. I can tell when someone is in extreme depression or pain by the scars on their back.

Not everyone has it but many teenagers and adults got it though. The most common is one scar. Two is a few. Three is rare. I only encounter it twice. Once, in winter, I went to the beach with my family. The water was icy cold and the waves was high so swimming was not allowed. There weren't many people as it was early in the morning. But there was a woman with three scars on her back. I was 12 and it was very shocking. I don't know what to do. I never knew what to do.

When I was a kid, I used to think it was an accessories that some grown people have. I thought it was funny, but I never point it out. Until I was nine, and one of my friend got one on his back. I asked him what happened and he started to cry and tell the teacher I was being mean to him. He lost his mother, I found out later.

I was too dumbfounded. I realized then that no one else could see the scar. I thought I was a freak. I looked it up on the internet but nothing helps. I stop giving it any mind.

Until that day on the beach. I was eyeing the woman the whole time we were there. She just buried her head in her folded legs. Then suddenly, she looked up and stare at the ocean before her. She slowly stood on her barefoot and started taking small, stumbling steps towards the sea.

I was supposed to know. I should've seen it coming. But I didn't.

She kept going further into the sea until the water was at her hips. I was too taken aback to respond. When the water swallow her body, I started to run. I tried to swim as fast as I can to her but I can't seem to be moving fast enough.

When I got to her, there were only her black hair floating like inks in the sea. I tried dragging her but I was too small. I heard splashing of water behind me and I assumed it was my father. He helped me carried her to the shore but she already looked pale.

We took her to the hospital but because of the cold water and the fact that her body was already too weak, she didn't wake up for hours but when she did, she started shaking me.

'Why couldn't you just let me die ? I don't want to live in this sick world anymore.' She screamed at my face.

The nurse pulled her away and my father brought me out of the room.

That is the day that I swore, to never try to help anyone with any scars. That is their burden to carry.

So when two years later, I saw someone trying to commit suicide in front of my eyes and saw the three scars behind his back, I just let him be. I won't get in the way.

No one deserves to live with that much pain. They've chosen so give up living. They made up their mind. It's easy to climb the step up but it took a lot to actually jump when you're at the edge of the cliff.

I won't change it.

I won't help.

So why do I feel like saving this girl standing before me ?